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3 ways to build kids' stress tolerance in a digitally enhanced world

By Michael Grose

Developing well-being skills is the new resilience-building.

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The stressors faced by today's children, which are digitally based, are something we never experienced when we were young.

Multiple screens and notifications compete for their attention. Despite being at home, they remain digitally connected to their friends, unable to escape the digital world's 24/7 nature.

We are equipped to handle stress, but not today's long-term stress.

As families, we have gone far beyond simply telling our kids to "go outside and play" as the primary method of promoting their well-being.

The following are three tools to help improve your child's and teenager's well-being, reduce chronic stress, and enhance productivity and performance.

1.        Create habits to reduce micro-stressors.

Ping, ding, thud!

Digital interruptions are everywhere, making it difficult to focus on simple tasks. Our brains, wired to respond to perceived threats, struggle to distinguish between a mobile phone's ping and a tiger's roar. This triggers a physiological response, preparing the body and mind to react.

It's no surprise that many modern children experience extreme mood swings. Prolonged stress takes a toll on their emotions, making it challenging to find stability.

Make it practical: Discuss with children when screens should be on and off. Mealtimes, homework time (unless there are online requirements), and leisure time of the non-digital variety should be free of digital distractions.

2.        Build stress tolerance.

Experiencing physical challenges can help children develop psychological hardiness. There is a connection between physical and mental endurance. A child's hunger while waiting for mealtime or the discomfort experienced playing outside on a cold, wet day prepares them to handle psychological stress.

The trend of adults embracing cold water exposure is a notable example of physical hardship building psychological tolerance.

Make it practical: I'm not proposing that we start giving children cold morning showers, but we won’t be quick to insist that they stay warm, provide food on demand, or come inside immediately when it's raining. These physical challenges can help build up their tolerance to stress.

3.        Build up stress resilience.

In my 2019 book Anxious Kids (co-authored with Dr. Jodi Richardson), I outline various strategies for teaching kids to manage anxiety and maintain their long-term well-being. It's important to equip kids with tools to handle their anxiety and stress effectively in real time.

These tools include simple techniques such as deep breathing, regular mindfulness, exercise, and play, and more advanced methods like defusion, green time, and meditation. Each is essential for lifelong well-being and helps build resilience to stress.

Make it practical: Introduce kids to tools like deep breathing, mindfulness, and physical exercise that initially release stress from the body. It's best to practice these tools and master them before moving on to more advanced tools.

Finally……

As the world becomes more complex, we need to adapt and keep pace with the well-being tools we pass on to kids. 

The messages and coping tools that were popular two decades ago need to be updated to fit the digitally enhanced world in which children are growing up.

Stay informed, continue learning, and practice stress management techniques 

before passing them on to the children in your life.