Banyule Bulletin

Key Outcome

Your child will practise putting their conflicts in perspective.

Objective

Sometimes, children feel a little out of control in their friendships and their worries and bad feelings start to feel much bigger than they actually are. This can get in the way of their ability to put out a Friendship Fire®. If they allow their worries to build and grow, sometimes their messy feelings can take over and blow Friendship Fires® way out of proportion. They might start to imagine that their Friendship Fires® are much bigger and harder to fix than they really are.

 

Thinking this way is called catastrophizing and it can be really unhelpful and keeps children and teens stuck in their negative emotions. Perspective-taking is an important skill to keep Friendship Fires® and other big emotions in check. We want kids to get in the habit of asking themselves, “How big is this Friendship Fire really??”

 

Practicing realistic thinking helps manage Friendship Fires® more effectively. Keeping things in proportion, where the reaction matches the situation, helps kids take a deep breath, keep a clear mind, and problem-solve…like a Friendship Ninja!

Materials

Instructions

There are many different types of Friendship Fires® that all range in strength… From a tiny spark, to a puff of smoke, to a smoldering pile of ash, to a camp fire, a bonfire, or even a raging bush or forest fire!

If you can realistically name the size of your problem and sort out what type of Friendship Fire® it is that you are having, you will know how to manage it more effectively too!

This activity will give you some practice at sorting Friendship Fires® according to their size, ferocity (which means how fierce or strong they are), and put them into perspective. See if you can rank the Friendship Fires in the handout (found in Materials) from biggest to smallest.

Parents, start off by sharing an example with your child of something that you believe would create a small Friendship Fire® versus something that might create a huge Friendship Fire®. What do you do to try to try keep things in perspective when you can feel a Friendship Fire starting to spark?

Next Steps

BFRN = Best Friend Right Now! Why do you think, at URSTRONG, we use the term BFRN instead of BFF? Which Friendship Fact reminds us that friendships change…and that’s okay?

 

Source: https://urstrong.com/resource/sorting-friendship-fires/