How To help Your Child If They Need Lots Of Encouragement To Do Their Best

We all need encouragement to keep trying to do things that we don't feel like we are good at. Children with learning difficulties often get lots of comments about being untidy, being slow to do their work, rushing too much or getting the wrong answers. These negative comments can make children even less motivated to have a go at work they may already find stressful and challenging.

It is important to make learning from home and homework is as positive, successful and enjoyable as possible. The following ideas may help to achieve this in your family.

Positive Comments

If your child does something well then praise them. Praise means letting your child know that you are pleased with what they have done and encouraging them to keep on trying their best. Here is a list of ideas of things that you may be able to let your children know they have done well.

getting the right answer to a question
trying hard to do their work well
having some creative ideas on ways to find answers to questions
using reference books/sites- encyclopaedias dictionaries etc
taking pride in how their school work is presented
concentrating while doing their work
thinking of interesting or different ways to write their writing tasks
taking care with their handwriting
listening to your explanation of how to answer school work questions
sitting still
thinking hard
being quiet
Remembering to have all their equipment ready ( eg. pen, pencils, rubbers, workbooks, charged laptop)
Being careful with their spelling
sitting up straight when writing
wearing their glasses, using their pencil grip etc
being able to get dressed for school without being reminded ( when we return!)
helping at home
remembering routines without reminders ( eg. learning from home, before school, after school, bedtimes)

Being Consistent

As you can see there are many things that your child may be doing well at. It is important to use as many opportunities as possible to encourage your child in what they are doing and make them feel that they are successful.

A good rule of thumb is to try and praise your child at least 3 times but every time that you correct them and also try and praise your child for everything that they try hard at.

Be Specific

When you are praising your child try to be as specific as possible. Eg. Instead of saying “ Well done!” it may be more helpful to say something like “I'm very proud of you for trying so hard with your writing today even though you thought that it was going to be hard. You did a really good job!”

Being specific in the way that you praise your child will help them to understand what it is that you are saying that they have done well. It will also make your child want to try again to do well in that area. Being specific about what you are praising may also help make what you are saying appear to be more genuine.

Earning Rewards

Children ( and adults) are often more motivated to do their best when they have a specific goal to work towards and rewards are a good example of a motivating goal.

Rewards that you choose for your child should be relatively inexpensive- so that they can be repeated and so that your child can earn the reward in a short period of time. Children find it difficult to work for things in the long-term (eg. for a school term or for a year) no matter how great the reward (even if it's an iPad or motorbike!)

Having a reward that your child can try and work towards each week is best. These rewards can be anything from staying up late or choosing a game to play with the family, to a meal at McDonald's. Make sure that you change the reward regularly as children quickly get tired of the same reward ( no matter how exciting it was the first time!)

When you are starting a reward system make sure that you explain carefully and specifically what you want them to do. Eg. A reward chart which monitors whether your child has concentrated on their school work for 15 minutes will be easier to measure than a chart which measures whether your child tried their best.

Place the charts in a place where it is easy to see and put a tick/ sticker/ stamp for each day in which your child meets their goal. Make sure that you start off with achievable goals (eg. Child concentrates on homework for at least 15 minutes three times in a week). Gradually increase the target behaviours as your child achieves them (eg. After a couple of months that goal might be for your child to concentrate on their homework for at least 15 minutes 4 times a week without your help and still stay focussed).

Ms Janelle Schembri | Diverse Learning Coordinator

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