Focus on Learning

Stage 3

English:

Stage 3 has been working hard in their writing this term. We started off with composing Narrative texts of the Science Fiction Genre. Students worked through the Writing Process (just like real life authors do) which took about 6 weeks to complete. It is a comprehensive and thorough process where students conference with the classroom teacher throughout their writing journey and work to refine and uplevel their writing as they go. 

The Writing Process

Here are some samples from the published work of Stage 3 students, very imaginative indeed!

My Brother had given me some advice in my younger and more vulnerable years that I have been turning over in my mind ever since. “Whenever you feel like criticising any one,” he told me “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.” I still can't get this out of my mind.

At once the whole universe went red. Nothing left at all. Only robots, patches of dry land and little water holes. Nick was gone, Matsby was gone. The blue light on the dock, the palace, East Egg, West Egg, Boston, New York, Brooklyn. Maybe all the world really is… just a big red polluted dump.  (Alex Davis - Orientation & Resolution). 

Creepy footsteps slowly walked closer and closer. I couldn't move. I was scared for the first time. He grabbed my shoulder, I felt like I was drowning. I could barely move my neck. I slowly moved my neck towards the guy who was really sinister, he had a black and red head and a suit. He looked more menacing up close… he stared right through me. (Babesh Dangol - Character Description). 

“Snap!” Everyone looked into the colosseum. A robot had snapped the gladiator’s  neck.   Brax, Marshall, Hendrix and Alex ran for their lives. (Bailey Garden - Orientation). 

Eyes, arms, legs, torsos. It was as if we were walking through a battlefield. Cords and white tubes slithered out of the robot corpses. Some of the robot body parts were covered with blood and sand. Now that I think about it we didn’t linger around the Grave site for too long.

Whose blood was on the robots? Why didn’t we think it seemed peculiar at the time? How did the robots get there? These thoughts should have buzzed around our heads. Though we were more focused on the crystal, aquamarine water showering the dead robots with ribbons of sparkling mist. And the pink and orange colours twisting, blending and swirling together to cast a majestic sunset display dancing across the distant palm trees. The cool beach water refreshed and relaxed us. Though Sienna, living up to her personality, tripped on one of the cleverly crafted robots and fell flat on her face. Sienna is one of the clumsiest people I' ever met. She’s like that one character in a movie that always gets kidnapped and injured. Me on the other hand. I’m as agile as a cat. (Billie Peach - Orientation). 

What do they want to do to you? They want to kill me...aka... shut me down. Suddenly, mum started climbing the stairs to the attic and shouted “Honey your friends here". "Oh no! Hide! SCREECH! Went the door. As it opened I saw my friend's face and he was in shock .I looked behind me then I saw Alpha Spark. My friend was about to scream and I cover his mouth. ”What is that thing? said Aubin, shaking. (Bradley Colgan - Complication)

As he approached the middle  of the forest. He found a creepy house with overgrown weeds and roses. When he entered the house it was pitch black darkness, except for a glowing, red button that said "DO NOT PRESS"! (Braxton Hand - Setting description). 

The little girl did not notice but then her mum told her to eat lunch. Her foot accidentally pressed a red on button and the robot came to life. He kept getting electrified until it stopped.  Suddenly he could do anything he wanted. After all that the robot scanned outside and it told itself to get out and explode the world so it quickly unlocked the front door. That afternoon the robot arrived at an astonishing forest (well it thought it was an astonishing forest), a dark forest. The robot thought it was astonishing because it had night vision. It slowly moved closer and closer. (Cynthia Chen - Complication)

Wet, minty green grass surrounds the porches of each house in Barracluf Avenue. KNOCK! “One sec!” An echo comes through the door. KNOCK! KNOCK! “OK COMING!” “Finally August, What took you so long?” Bethany exclaims. August walks in the house handing to Bethany a red note with big black writing that said DETENTION. “Again? That's the third time this term.  Anyway let's go” Bethany cried. 

Slowly, the two friends walk into the living room where Anastasia and Dylan are having a huge pillow fight. “Whoops' ' August mumbles. Bethany see’s pillows and blankets on every surface even on the TV! She storms up to the two pillow fighters and screams, “YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PICK A MOVIE  NOT MESS EVERYTHING UP!” Dylan and Anastasia try not to smirk because they’ll probably start to burst out laughing. Bethany pushed her pink glasses up to the top of her nose and stomped away. (Daniella Cortis - Orientation)

Dave Came to a town nearby.  No one would expect a high tech robot to be living in an old town in the middle of nowhere.  He fled to the alleyway in hopes that nobody would see him but it was hard...it was summer and the sun was shining bright like it had never been before. Dave decided he should head for the sewers, nobody would ever think that a robot would be living in the sewers and he would be invisible to the world.  Before he could get there he saw a shop (a candy shop) so many things were in it but one thing caught Dave's eye... candy canes, delicious red and white. (Harold Connal - setting the scene). 

In the deep, dark misty woods, creepy vines and trees dangled down. Tim comes out of the forest and colors come out of the fog. Tim lights up the forest with his array of bright flashing lights. Tim is white with yellow stripes, he has a blue face Tim’s head looks like a football.

  Tim is on his way to find somewhere to stay the night. Tim has a super power...he can fly!! Soaring through the air he notices a house with bright, yellow flashing lights. (Hendrix O'Loughlin - Orientation)

Suddenly, a dark, thundering cloud rolled in ominously over the hospital. Meanwhile inside the hospital lived a small vacuum robot named Bob. Bob was loved by everyone, because Bob was a special vacuum. He was programmed to take special things to patients and he could only say “get well soooon.” Bob is the smartest vacuum in the world and is powered by Artificial Intelligence (AI). He can clean up to double the speed of a normal vacuum.

BOOM!! Lightning struck the hospital. Darkness fell over the building. Everyone was running around like chickens with no heads. Bob knew he had to act quick, he threw on his sunnies (which was not necessary) and ripped out his emergency sandwich. Yeah I know a sandwich. “ HAY don’t judge me!” said Bob hyperventilating himself. Bob almost laughed out loud as he thought about how people had always underestimated him. Thinking he could only say “get well soon.” Abruptly, Bob’s reminder system sent him an alarm. The message read… (Jorja Jamieson - Orientation/Complication)

One hot summer morning pink and blue waves were crashing against the hard rocks as Lily, Bella and Sunny( Lily’s horse) swam playfully in the sea. “Ahh a fresh morning swim is the best” announced Lily to Bella as they hop out of the cold water. Out of the blue a brown wooden box floated up to the hot sand. ”Look there is a brown box over there Lil!” Bella yelled as they ran towards the box and excitedly opened it up. (Lily Brown - Orientation). 

Drip Drip! The bathroom tap was leaking. As I woke up I screamed! A robot called Alien came into the room and asked,“Why are you here? I replied “I woke up here”.“But you're not supposed  to be here,” said the Robot. “But I woke up here, I didn’t mean to be here, there is no way I would break in, I am a child. I tried to explain.“Oh that's why you're here, the Robot seemed to finally understand.  (Logan Allan - Orientation)

The babysitter decided to take a break and started watching Tick Toks on her phone, not 

noticing the baby was eating food off the ground. The robot vacuum cleaner was busy sucking up crumbs, when it ran over the poor baby. Meanwhile the baby sitter remembered she had left the baby alone and went to check, but it was too late! The robot vacuum cleaner blew up because of it’s capacity and it could not fit a baby inside. There were pieces of vacuum cleaner and baby all over the parent’s bedroom. (Marshal Cook - Complication). 

I never thought I would create such a monster!!! I worked for the government from a very young age but after thirty something years I found something that I couldn't go back from.

It was a regular day at the office, I was working on a machine in which I had no idea what it was for when I stumbled across a dilapidated keycard. Was this a keycard to something important? My feet trembled nervously as I picked up the card. Mr Wilson, the card read. Mr Wilson is one of our ex-presidents. “Where would they get this card from? I questioned myself. My hands shook violently as I shoved the card into my pocket trying to pretend nothing was wrong. I strolled to the staff room to get my free coffee and donut (a Friday special). (Phoebe Farrant-Wills - Orientation). 

The year is 9582 and I had just flown home on my hover board after a long and exhausting day at school. Who am I? I’m a 14 year old boy with a bionic leg which I lost in the first attack of the Neutroniums. I’ve got green eyes and blue hair (modern, I know). My name is kevin and I live on a planet called Ligma. The planet next to us is Neutron (our worst  enemy) they have been trying to take over Ligma for centuries and lately they have made new plans to attack. Crushingly my parents were captured 3 years ago by the Neutrons... I’ve been alone ever since. (Ricky Hird - Orientation). 

CRUNCH! CRUNCH! The orange leaves broke beneath Margot’s feet. Her head flopped down, because up ahead was Keely Prescot, the most popular girl in Greenview High. Margot’s stride slowed to a dawdle. Suddenly, Cooper Bremont came from around a corner, his surfboard under his arm, his dirty blonde hair shining in the sun. As if things couldn’t get worse for Margot Jones, Liam Smith pushed past her, seemingly annoyed, his drumsticks in hand. But, all four kids stopped and groaned as Jacob Wyatt crossed their path.

“Pleased to see me?” mocked Jacob. “As always.”

“You wish.” mumbled Liam, walking away as fast as he could. 

“Uh uh, hold on. I want to talk to you guys. Catch up. The only one of you I have a class with is Cooper, but of course that class is PE and Cooper is the star pitcher on the sophomore baseball team…” He paused, taking a long, hard sip of his aluminium water bottle. Cooper’s cheeks turned red. Even behind that muscular exterior, Cooper was likely one of the most shy baseball players ever. Then, the penetrating sound of wheezing fills the air, sending all the kids’ gazes to go to Jacob. (Rosie Lee - Orientation & Character Description). 

It’s the year 2648 and most people thought by now we would have flying cars or something like that, I don't actually know… scientists had sent me to find a habitable planet but I had crashed on the way. I arrived About 2 Years ago. After Researching this planet I found some valuable Information, This Planet is called Coruscant and Who thought it had Life on it...not me! (Shivansh Madan - Orientation). 

Stumbling, clumsily the robot trod on crunchy autumn leaves. He dawdled around but his mind was empty then suddenly a thought popped up that told him to turn around so he did. There, stood a peculiar orange butterfly fluttering through the pure autumn forest.The robot thought the orange butterfly was a brown dry crunchy  leaf floating to the forest soggy floor. The machine had no sense but to follow the “leaf” (not really) to the stoney cliff edge.

The harsh wind threw the metal robot around as he horrifyingly hurtled downwards . CLUNK! The robot crashed into the rocks below, He discovered hollow dents deep into his once smooth polished torso smashed and dented from his traumatic fall. The machine had his damaged legs gradually lift him up from the cold soggy ground he noticed his surroundings were different.  (Sienna Thompson - Orientation).