Mental Health & Wellbeing Page

"They are such great parents"

This statement is often said under trying circumstances but maybe there is more to it.

Whether instictive or learned, here are a number of behaviours, attitudes and skills that set those 'great parents' apart.

Great parents...

1. They separate themselves from their kids - All parents naturally have hopes and dreams for their children but they don't let those aspirations cloud their judgment or worse, take autonomy away from children who want to follow their own path.
2. Great parents change as their child changes - You know how it goes. You finally  understand what makes a nine year old tick and then they move into adolescence and the whole game changes. Do you have the knack of matching your parenting style with your child's developmental age?
3. Know how to lead the gang -  sing from the same sheet, move in the same direction. While their children may fight you can count on them to stick together when the chips are down. The parents have developed 'we' rather than 'me' in their children.
4. Know how to nurture the individual - As well as leading the gang, great parents know how to give individual children what they need. This comes from keeping their ear to the ground and knowing what is happening in their childrens lives.
5. Love their kids, but dont expect to be liked in return - Its a given that parents love their children, but this unconditional love is not always reciprocated. Great parents don't expect to be liked all of the time.
6. Have difficult conversations with kids - sexuality, dealing with loss, friendship, forgiveness - its not easy but we can't avoid them.
7. Don't shirk discipline - The job of parents is to socialise their kids so that they can fit into the wider world. That means that parents expect kids to behave and insist that the kids factor in the rights and concerns of others when in public. Some parents will divest the discipline role to others, including their childrens school. Great parents roll up their sleeves and teach their kids what it means to be safe and social, which is what disciplineis about.
8. Aren't afraid of swimming against the tide of popular opinion - Peer pressure gets to parents just like it gets to kids. Never be afraid to swim against the tide of popular opinion.
9. Seek to influence, rather than control - great parents aren't parenting autocrats. They recognise that some kids have minds of their own, so they cut them some slack and seek to persuade or influence rather than control.
10. Continually learn and add to their parenting toolkit - None of us are perfect. We are all a work in progress

Good Luck on your own journey! You are not alone!