Fork-in-the-Road Moments in Friendship
Is your child’s Friendship Group full of drama? Is your child being negatively influenced by others?
Key Outcome
Your child will reflect on the influence of their Friendship Group, especially during fork-in-the-road moments, and consider what aligns with their values.
Objective
There is no doubt that tweens and teens are highly influenced by their friends. As we teach in our Friendology curriculum, sometimes the influence is positive – they encourage a friend to join a team, they help a friend with their homework, they introduce a friend to something new. However, as we know, sometimes this influence is negative, maybe even toxic, and we see kids going down the wrong path with the wrong group of friends.
Friendship Groups are among the most complicated, challenging aspects of tween and teen friendships. These groups can sometimes develop reputations and teachers might even start to paint all the students with the same brush. Students are sometimes “guilty by association” when their friends mess up, which can be very frustrating and upsetting. And, as Friendship Fact #4 reminds us, sometimes these Friendship Groups do not feel good anymore. Empowering your child to make healthy choices about who they spend their time with is an essential life skill – even when it means choosing a different path than their friends.
This powerful lesson will help your child reflect on the influence of their Friendship Group, especially during those hard, fork-in-the-road moments. Do they continue down the path with their friends or do they go a different direction? What aligns most with their values? Do they want to be a leader or a follower? Are they fitting-in or belonging? Is this the right Friendship Group for them?
Materials
- Print out: Fork-in-the-Road Moments
Instructions
Step 1: Introduction to Fork-in-the-Road Moments
- Ask the Question: Start by asking your child, “Have you ever heard of a Fork-in-the-Road Moment?” Allow them to share any thoughts or ideas they have about this term.
- Explain the Concept: Share with them that a fork-in-the-road refers to moments in life when you have to make a decision that can change the direction of your life. It’s similar to reaching the end of a path that splits into two. You must choose whether to go left or right, and sometimes these small decisions can have a big impact on your future.
Step 2: Share Personal Stories
- Story Time: Share a personal story about a time when you faced a fork-in-the-road. Explain the decision you made and why. Reflect on what might have happened if you had chosen the other option. Ask your child how they feel about the decision you made and whether they think it was the right one.
Step 3: Understanding Values
- Introduce the Concept of Values: Write the word “VALUES” on a piece of paper. Explain that values are like a moral compass; they help us make decisions that align with what is important to us. Discuss how it feels when decisions don’t match our values.
- Explore Core Values: Introduce James Clear’s list of 50 Core Values or brainstorm a list together. Alternatively, use our 12 Wellbeing Themes at URSTRONG as a starting point.
- Fork-in-the-Road Activity: Print out the handout for your child (in the Materials section) to list their top values. Encourage them to think deeply about what matters most to them.
Step 5: Tie it all Together!
- Using Values as a Compass: Have your child consider a recent decision or dilemma they faced. Ask them to reflect on which path makes the most sense based on their identified values. Discuss the potential outcomes of each choice and how those align with their values.
Next Steps
Talk About Decisions: After completing the activity, discuss how understanding their values can help them navigate future fork-in-the-road moments. Encourage them to keep their values in mind when making decisions.
Source: https://urstrong.com/resource/new-fork-in-the-road-moments-in-friendship/