Positive Education

Non-verbal Communication

Some of our Year 8 and Year 9 students have had the opportunity to attend a Leadership Workshop at St Michael’s Collegiate this week, along with students from other all-girls schools. The ylead presenters asked the students what quality, starting with the letter ‘C’, is essential in helping to empower others and ourselves. Some great suggestions were given – courage, community and collaboration, just to name a few. The answer they were looking for though, was communication.

When we think about communication, it’s natural to think of what we say. Yet, between 50 and 80 percent of our communication happens through non-verbal cues. Our body language therefore speaks the loudest in the way we communicate.

According to helpguide.org, our non-verbal communication can contribute in five ways.

Repetition: it can confirm or reinforce our verbal communication.

Contradiction: it can contradict our verbal communication, damaging the authenticity of what we are saying.

Substitution:  it can replace our verbal communication. They say a picture speaks a thousand words. Our non-verbal communication can speak volumes.

Complementing: it can complement our verbal communication, and can therefore strengthen our message.

Accenting:  Your accompanying body language can emphasise your verbal message.

In this way, our students’ non-verbal communication is paramount to their relationships. It can contribute to the building or breakdown of these relationships. 

Consider the following scenarios:

What makes you seem approachable to others? A smile and open body language, or crossed arms and a disinterested expression?

What shows your teacher that you want to engage in your learning? A straight back and eye contact towards the teacher, or a slumped body and talking to a friend?

What conveys to your friend that you value their friendship? Actively listening and looking towards them, or being distracted or impatient while they talk to you?

When students are in conflict, the non-verbal communication is extremely powerful. It can often contribute to miscommunication as well. When students are in conflict, they are usually more sensitive to other’s non-verbal communication. For example, a look in their direction to check what the other is doing can be perceived as a glare or a stare.

As adults (parents and teachers) it’s important for us to consider our own non-verbal communication. How are we modelling positive communication in our non-verbal behaviour? Do our actions match our verbal communication? Does it improve or hinder our relationship?

Social media adds an extra challenge to our communication. In some ways, it encourages students to be more reflective in their choice of words and support the development of social intelligence. In other ways, without those non-verbal cues it can be more difficult to determine the intended meaning.

It’s essential that we encourage young people to be aware and reflect on the impact of their non-verbal communication in their interactions with those around them, whether it be their peers, teachers, family or friends. We need to ask them the questions: What does your eye contact, posture, gestures, body language, facial expressions and tone convey to those around you?