Wellbeing MATTERS!

Wellbeing MATTERS!

Dear Families,

Welcome back to term 4!  

We’re finally a bit closer to ALL being back at school!  Fantastic to see the F/1/2s on Monday for the whole week and the Gr 3/4s on Tuesday and Wednesday and we’ll see our Gr 5/6s Thursday and Friday!   Brilliant!

Our theme for term 4 is “Be Your Best”.   What a great time to have this as our theme!

With all that COVID19 has thrown at us - lockdowns; face masks; hand sanitiser; deep cleans……… - our PBIS strategies will help us to keep in good stead as we go into term 4!  Being resilient, respectful and responsible all leads us to BEING OUR BEST! And there’s no better time to do this as we all strive together - students-parents-teachers to  make sure that they all finish 2021 with THEIR BEST! 

Some of you, as Parents, continue to manage the REMOTE LEARNING gig, I thought this article from Michael Grose may help you (and their Teachers) to help your children.  It’s about FEEDBACK and realising the value of giving good feedback that really matters to your child(ren).  This is another tool in our armoury to help our children achieve their best - some good advice for Parents and Teachers!!

How to give kids feedback for improvement 

by Michael Grose  

It can be tempting to allow children to continue to behave badly or to perform chores, homework or sports practice poorly when they argue or resist feedback. Parents need to be part coach, teacher and counsellor so that kids learn how to behave well, develop healthy attitudes to learning and know how to get the best out of themselves. Feedback is one of the most effective tools we have to achieve this. Give it not so well and it will at best be ignored and at worst, rupture relationships and damage self-worth. If you provide feedback effectively, you’ll see improvement in behaviour, attitudes and learning, even among feedback resistant teens. Here’s how to deliver feedback to make sure it sticks.

Make it specific                                                                                                                                          

It is absolutely essential to give feedback about one behaviour, skill or attitude at a time, if you want improvement. “Jai, if you make eye contact with your brother when you talk to him, he’s more likely to listen to you.”  The feedback needs to be specific rather than generalised so that our children know exactly how to do better. 

Ensure it’s descriptive                                                                                                                   

“That’s not the way to behave inside” doesn’t help much. “Use your quiet voice when you play inside” cues children into how to behave. Use phrases and terms that have real meaning for children rather than vague, non-descriptive language such as ‘be a good girl’, so children not only know what’s expected but they understand how to meet your expectations.

It’s got to be timely                                                                                                                     

Providing feedback half an hour after they’ve thrown a tantrum in public will ensure there’s no impact. On the other hand, providing behavioural feedback when they are  angry will ensure one thing – you’ll have an argument on your hands. Feedback needs to be fairly immediate for young children and if possible, provided before an event or activity. “When you set the table, put the fork on this side and the knife on the other.” Choose the time and place to provide feedback to older children, remembering that angry tweens and teens generally don’t listen.

Give from a place of calm                                                                                                              

Angry parents generally deliver feedback poorly to kids. Regardless of how well you choose your words and how accurate your feedback may be, feedback delivered angrily will prompt a  flight/fight response from our children.  They will usually ignore you or start an argument, but they won’t take your message on board when you’re mad at them. 

Give sparingly                                                                                                                                     

When children require approval for every scribble, homework problem and picture they draw, it’s probably because they have always been offered feedback on every scribble, homework problem and picture they draw. It’s vital that children develop their own internal sense of validation and honest self-assessment, because as they grow up and face hardship, they need to be able to look to themselves for strength and approval. If they can’t, they will be much more vulnerable to superficial external approval that comes their way in the form of peer pressure, bullying and the usual social jostling. As you wean them off of your feedback, ask them how they feel about their work.

Feedback is a wonderful parenting (teacher) tool that requires attention to detail, sensitivity and a willingness to respect the dignity of our children who are receiving it.   It’s also most effective when given sparingly, rather than like a nervous tic, which keeps children anchored to you for approval.

Finally, a graphic that puts all the “COVID stuff” into perspective, lots of messages that give us a glimpse into our way forward…...

Please feel free to contact me if you have any concerns or queries.

Debbie Turvey

Pastoral Wellbeing & Learning Diversity Leader

dturvey@shtatura.catholic.edu.au

(03) 5824 1841

Stay tuned in our school newsletter for more ideas and conversations around promoting wellbeing and learning in our school community.

Have a great week, make the choice, be your best!