Grade 6 Writing
Grade 6s have been working on showing not telling their writing to allow the reader to visualise. Here are some samples of student learning:
Circular and sacred, it dived into the cold and unforgiving pavement. Like a knife cutting deep into an apple his face was cut wide open. The wound was fresh and bloody. Maybe they wanted to help the widowed man, but they never dared to, choosing instead to look down and walk. He lay, his face giving all of the emoting words could never say. Broken, his heart, soul and dignity nothing remained of the man. All the eye could see was a tall shadow in a grey suit, nothing more, nothing less.
Young minds filled with stories. Some true and some fake. Dark clouds formed and the wind whistled and blew brown curls around. Heart pumping, they all quickened their pace. No one was going to be left behind. Looming tall it was impossible to ignore. It had become a landmark, for all the wrong reasons.
By Lily Middleton
Bars encircled the huge beast, its sharp claws scratched away at his cage. The beast shook its mane and roared, furious and devastated it could not reach the other side of the towering fence. Passers by snapped images of the great creature, the flashes of blinding light terrified him, so he sprinted away.
Gales of air blasted between spindly trees that loomed up into the night sky. Branches snapped off and tumbled to the thick forest floor. Creatures scuttled about in the undergrowth, desperately trying to find a place to shelter from the ferocious winds.
By Tom Opray
Atop the hill there is an old house. It's wooden and has holes in it old Christmas as decorations litter the property along with bits of plastic and glass no child would ever dream of going there.
The lion perched in his enclosure, each face that was pressed against the smudged enclosure glass he itched to run but the enclosure was so small.
By Nyssa Vassilopoulos
Extended Metaphors in 6RT
Storm clouds are uncontrollable anger destroying everything in its path and sight.
Storm clouds are salty tears pouring down your puffed face leaving scars of depression and worthlessness.
Lightning is your boiling blood pumping faster and faster by the minute.
Storm clouds cascade over your seemingly small body while waves of midnight darkness washes over you.
The grey clouds surround your scared soul gradually turning it into wickedness.
Hannah, Grace and Alice
Trust is gallium being poured into a temperate palm, patiently assembling the longer it resides. When a chilly breeze passes by, it melts into it’s original form, for next time, it will build stronger.
Tavi, Neddie and Aidan
Isolation is a rock.
Strong and hard it stands, unbreakable.
Alone in a void there is no escape.
A friendless soul erupts but is never free.
Different shapes and sizes it comes, some spikey, some smooth, all cold and uncomfortable.
Falling from the unknown it crushes timetables and motivation into an unforgiving dust.
Maybe someday there will be light but for now the blanket of darkness still covers us.
Isolation is a rock made up of a million people, all in the same boat.
Some tried to leave but the ocean pulled them back, again and again.
Silenced by its power we sit and wait for the rock to move, but maybe it never will.
And maybe it wasn’t a rock at all.
Lily, Mietta and Sharnee
Isolation is like an island, nothing to do or no one to be with.
The future is unknown.
Will a boat come to rescue you? Will the lockdown end?
The tide slowly comes in, and the walls around you start to close.
Boredom is the main predator it will attack at any moment on an island there’s nothing to defend yourself from this monster.
Ed and Nyssa
Sadness is a stormy night. It whips the smile off your face. Uncontrollable and wild, it destroys hope and obliterates all joy. Even if you try to hide, it’s cold breath stings your soul. Lightning strikes your heart and leaves an empty void. Hopeless, there is nothing you can do.
Rupert, Raf & Indigo
Joy is a gift, Really quite rare, It blooms from nowhere, Disguised as despair.
So make sure to check, Check for holes in the plot, For you could be blind, Or maybe not.
Unwrapping a gift comes with many a struggle, A journey of lies hiding in all your troubles,
Sometimes with joy troubles don’t seem so big, You could just be given an envelope, small as you think,
Though opening the envelope could make the stars link. Could take you on a trip so you do not sink.
Sophie, Paige and Raph
Life is nothing but a flower.
It blossoms and blooms, showing off its amazing colours for everyone to see.
But happiness must eventually fall, for the flower starts to slouch, petal after petal of happiness falling to the ground.
Its vibrant colours fading and plummeting into the darkness below.
But not all is lost, for now there is more room for new buds and flowers to grow.
Like flowers, in life, sacrifices must be made for others to bloom.
Nieve, Christos and Maksim