Wellbeing                      College Counsellor

Want to parent with more empathy but can’t think of what to say? Here are some no-fail sentences to get you started in any situation (it’s never too late).

Everyday goodness

We all make mistakes.

Let’s do it together.

You don’t have to eat everything. Check-in with your body to see if you feel full.

There is nothing you can do that would make me love you any less.

I’m here for you when you’re ready.

You get to choose.

You get started and come to me if you need help.

Validating feelings

All your feelings are ok.

It makes sense to me that you’d feel [sad/scared/mad]. That didn’t go the way you wanted it to.

Wow, you look so proud of yourself! I saw you [run really fast, achieve success].

Do you want to talk about it? (No.) Ok, I’m here if you change your mind.

I’m guessing you feel [frustrated/sad/happy/scared/upset]. Is that how you feel?

Problem-solving in the moment

Does this game still feel fun for everyone?

What can I do to help?

How can we make it work for everyone?

I’m not willing for you to [hurt/hit/yell] at other people. I’m going to put my body here so that everyone is safe.

This is tough. I’m going to pick you up and give you a big hug and we’ll go to a place where you can have all your feelings.

I’m feeling flooded. It’s not your fault. I’m going to take care of myself and I’ll be back to check on you in 2 minutes.

I would like to say “yes” to that solution. Here’s what I’m concerned about…

Teaching outside the moment

Do you have any ideas about how we can solve this issue next time?

What were your hitting hands trying to say?

If you could go back in time, is there anything you would do differently in that situation?

I wish I hadn’t yelled, that’s not the kind of parent I want to be. Next time when I’m feeling frustrated I will [take 5 deep breaths] before I talk.

Connection with consent

Would you like a hug? (No.) Ok, I’m here if you change your mind.

I’ve got a hug for you if you want it.

It looks like you haven’t had enough hugs today. Want one?

Sharing

Which toys are not shareable? Let’s put them away before your friend gets here.

Can they use that toy when you’re done with it?

There are two kids here and you both want one toy. How can we solve this?

To download a copy of these tips go to:

The Best Peaceful Parenting “One-Liners” - Happily Family  

Fix Negative Self-talk in Teens - Dr. Kristin Neff - Happily Family (6min Video)

Dr. Neff talks about recent research and finding self-compassion is a key to helping self-criticism in teens. It helps with:

• Negative self-talk
• Low self-esteem
• Depression
• Suicidal thoughts
• Eating disorders

As you investigate the ‘Happily Family’ website, you will also find recent information on things like:

• Peaceful Parenting for an Oppositional, Rebellious, or Defiant Toddler/child
• Alternatives to asking “How was school today?”
• The secret to improving as a parent
• Parenting without perfectionism