From the Counselling Suite

From the Counselling Suite

Toxic Positivity

One of the current trends in psychology is ‘positive psychology’, which focuses on positive experiences, positive emotions, character strengths and promoting a state of ‘flourishing’.  Although it is difficult to determine whether psychological research and theory influences culture, or whether it’s the other way around (my thinking is, it’s probably a combination of both), along with the rise of positive psychology has come an emphasis on positivity (and on not being negative) in popular culture.  Anyone with an Instagram account will have encountered the popularity of positive quotes (“good vibes only”) and ‘inspirational influencers’ urging us to “think positive”, “stop being negative” and “never give up”. It’s hard to escape them…

There is certainly a lot of merit in positivity and promoting happiness in society has been shown to lead to better health outcomes.  There is also quite a strong evidence base for many of the strategies that come under the umbrella of positive psychology, including adopting a growth mindset, increasing gratitude and focusing on living a life in accordance with personal values and character strengths.  Some recent research, however, has highlighted the downside of the over-promotion of positivity (and perhaps, the misinterpretation of positive psychology).  The term ‘toxic positivity’ has been used to describe this phenomenon – although it may sound like a contradiction in terms, it makes sense when you unpack it further.  

Recent research conducted by McGuirk et al. (2018) investigated two emotional norms associated with an emphasis on happiness – the importance of (1) seeking positive emotion and (2) avoiding negative emotion – and whether these norms have implications for how people respond to, and seek to regulate, their negative emotional experiences.  In the first study, they found that an emphasis on the importance of happiness led to an increase in rumination (worry and going over and over something in your head) in response to failure.  Their second study showed that emphasising the importance of NOT experiencing negative emotional states, like depression and anxiety, also led to increased rumination, and was associated with lower levels of wellbeing.   According to McGuirk et al. (2018), these findings suggest that the overpromotion of happiness, and, in turn, the felt social pressure NOT to experience negative emotional states, has implications for maladaptive responses to negative emotional experiences.

So, what is the alternative?  Researchers suggest that promoting acceptance of negative feelings and validation that negative feelings are ok, and justified in some circumstances, is much more helpful for those experiencing negative emotions.  Whitney Hawkins Goodwin, owner of the Collaborative Counselling Centre in Florida in the US (Instagram account @sitwithwhit) recently posted a graphic that explains the difference between a response that provides validation and hope, and toxic positivity, and has been summarised below:

Of course, people who tell others to “be positive” are usually well-intentioned and there is no harm in encouraging someone to consider all aspects of a situation, not just the negatives, as our brains are unfortunately wired with a negativity bias.  It is important to acknowledge, however, that some situations warrant a negative emotional response and that this is OK.  Moreover, a lot of personal growth and transformation can emerge from negative experiences, including increased resilience, coping strategies, knowledge of support systems and self-awareness.  Research suggests that shoving positivity down someone’s throat during tough times can actually make some people feel worse and unsafe in expressing their negativity (and we all know that negativity thrives in isolation).  People may even start to think that something is wrong with them for not “choosing” positivity. 

So if you, like me, have been finding that some of the many inspirational quotes that you are inundated with on social media make you cringe, this might be why!  Next time you notice yourself wanting to tell someone to “just get over it”, try putting yourself in their shoes, and exercising some validation and hope, instead of buying in to the potentially harmful toxic positivity.  With support and validation, you can help people who are stuck in their negativity to find their own way out.   

If you are concerned about your child’s wellbeing or mental health, please contact the student counselling service (counselling@bps.sa.edu.au).  

Dr Lucinda Clifford

PSYCHOLOGIST