From the SRC

Expectations

Since our childhood, we have been brought up with the idea of fulfilling expectations. Those of our parents, teachers, peers, and society. Arguably, some say these expectations allow us to push ourselves, wanting to see the smiles and approval of whomever the expectations have come from. Others say that it is not good, because we are only working towards the wishes of others. 

But is it so bad to want others to be happy, if that makes us happy as well? The real issue may not be clear to us until we take a good look at ourselves. Much like a video game, the first “levels” you pass aren’t particularly hard and they feel extremely rewarding. But as time goes on and the expectations increase, it gets harder and harder for some of us to keep up. And so, we get less and less praise, and for somebody who has built their sense of self based on this approval, they will desperately try and catch onto it, no matter what it takes. This is the unhealthy habit a lot of us have, but we either do not know it exists or we refuse to accept that it does. 

An example I can think of would be:In Kindergarten you were smart, being able to do things faster than other kids, your teachers and parents all complimented you relentlessly. In high school, they put you into advanced classes or to other extensions. Slowly you find it getting harder, and realise that all the other kids are catching up, but you can’t tell anybody that because it threatens your pride and the compliments that you built yourself around. Eventually this issue follows you all the way to VCE, where being “advanced” automatically means you’re expected to enrol in Math Methods. However, you find Methods ridiculously hard, barely passing the assignments, yet your pride can’t let you give up. Consequently, you don’t reach your full potential by picking an “easier” subject, getting a better score and dealing with less stress.

I don’t mean to pick on any ex or current Skepsi students, as I was one too, but this is one of the many examples of expectations causing us so much unneeded trouble. On the other side of the coin, there are people who won’t be bothered to try because a “person like them” is already expected not to do well academically, so trying is a waste of time. In their mind, trying would make them look “out of character”, so they instead gain approval from their peers by saying how they didn’t study or how low their score was.

Whether it’s accepting defeat too easily or not knowing when to stop and reflect, so much of our lives are built around what’s “appropriate” for us—decided for by other people, and not ourselves. My question for you all is: Is whatever it is that you’re doing really what you want to do, or is it “what you should be doing”?It may be hard to answer that question, and the truth is often hard to swallow, but only you know yourself, so don’t let anyone else make that decision for you.

As for teachers and parents, it is important to recognise the distinction between imparting your thoughts and advice, and imprinting them onto your students/children. Think about it like this, all new phones were made with features the previous one did not have, and that makes them better, but people are not phones, they are people.

Richard Ha

SRC President