From our Head of Pastoral Care

Managing Grief

It has been a sad term with many students, families and teachers struggling with grief following the death of Maddie Lea. Understanding grief, and the process we all inevitably go through when we lose someone close to us, is never simple. This is because grief manifests differently for each of us; there is no wrong way to grieve. Some people may experience a deep sadness that seems not to go away; others ‘waves’ of sadness that come and go unexpectedly, but are overwhelming while they last. Some people experience anger; others report feeling numb. Some want to isolate themselves from others; others want to be in company all the time. Some try to make sense of their grief through talking; others refuse to talk and simply want to get back to their normal routines. These grief responses are all ‘normal’ and it’s important that we allow our young people to grieve and help them to understand the gamut of emotions they may continue to experience over the ensuing weeks or months even. However, it is also important to be aware of whether your child’s grief is interfering with their normal routines; if they are isolating themselves for too long; or if active distractions such as exercise, creative tasks, company, social activities etc. do not seem to help lift their sadness.

Many parents have made contact with our counsellors over the past few weeks to discuss ways to support their child through the grieving process. Once again, I am including some links (below) to Headspace articles that you may find helpful. Also, we have shared with families who have requested further resources copies of a small, easy to read book called When a friend dies by Marilyn E. Gootman. Written for teenagers, the advice in this book is gentle, non-judgemental and compassionate. The book can be borrowed from the school over the holiday period (I will leave some copies at Admin).

I wish our students and families a happy and rest-filled break and thank you for the comforting sense of community that emanated from our collective experience of grief.

Libby Barnes

Head of Pastoral Care