From The Counselling Suite

Who is the Boss?

Sometimes as parents we need to remind ourselves that we are the adults in the child/parent relationship.  Parents must distinguish between giving their child what they want, and giving them what they need - these are often not the same thing.  

Children have emotional blackmail down to a fine art; most parents at some time have been taunted by the plea ‘everybody else in my class is allowed to ….’ or ‘I’m the only kid in my group who doesn’t have….’ etc, etc. And if that doesn’t work, the child resorts to the temper tantrum and associated screaming, yelling, throwing things etc, etc. It is easy to understand how that sort of behaviour wears parents down – it is so easy to simply give in.

This scenario is often played out around technology use; the online age has made parenting much more difficult than it was in the past. Children of all ages have access to, and can use, all sorts of electronic devices – tablets and smartphones, smart TVs, PlayStations and Xboxes. These devices are so user-friendly that even a 2-year old can navigate their way around various Internet sites, and while there are many benefits associated with using these devices there are also risks!  

As parents we do everything possible to minimise the risks that our child might encounter around the home – we build fences around pools, we don’t leave sharp implements within easy reach, we ensure that they understand all about ‘stranger danger’, but we often overlook the risks associated with unrestricted access to electronic devices. Often, we argue that our children only play interactive and educational games or use their device for research, and that is good for them. Yes, it may be, but as parents do you know how much time your child spends on electronic devices in any one day?  When we do take note of the actual time our children spend engaged with a screen, we would be surprised and perhaps even horrified.    

There are many risks of too much screen time, and some are widely known especially around internet safety, however, there are two issues which seem to cause more problems than all the others. The first is that screen time and Internet use are ADDICTIVE, and highly addictive at that!   The second is that children who have unrestricted screen time are more likely to become, very quickly, more comfortable interacting in the ‘VIRTUAL’ world than in the ‘real’ world.

We don’t let our children play in dangerous spaces and we worry about the lure of addictive drugs.   So too as parents we must set reasonable limits on the amount of time we allow our children to spend using technology. Parents are the adults in the child/parent relationship and so need to take control of the amount of time they allow their child to spend on electronic devices.  This can be very challenging, but it is too important to your child’s mental, emotional and physical health to weaken.     

The Counselling Team is available to advise and support all students and families and can be contacted by email: counselling@bps.sa.edu.au .   Parents may also refer their son to the Counselling Team by using the Referral found on the Parent Portal.  

Ms Cathie Oswald

School Counsellor (Monday, Thursday and Friday)

Mrs Karen Davies

School Psychologist (Tuesday and Thursday)