Using the narrative to resist and break the chains of Anorexia Nervosa

Narrative therapy works by separating people from their problems. Developed by David Epston and Michael White in the 1970s and 1980s, narrative therapy is non-pathologizing, empowering, and collaborative. It recognizes people have skills and expertise that can help guide change in their lives.

Today’s Counseling corner presents insight into the unmasking of Anorexia Nervosa. The narrative provides insights into the mind of the person, as they start to see the illness for what it is – a sneak, and false friend.

To set the scene: one of the counsellors is writing to the student, following from another session. In the conversation, C is the voice of the counsellor, and S is the student.

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Hey S,

I appreciate your sharing today and wow…you do have a lot of wisdom about anorexia don’t you. Would you be okay for me to share this interview with others. They would get something quite significant from this and may even be able to share this with other people to assist their journey with anorexia. Please let me know either way.

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C: How did anorexia fool you for the first time? How did anorexia trick you, get into your life?

S: It was kinda..first being jealous of other people’s bodies i.e., social media, school. Then started thinking about outfits, didn’t look as good on me…always got told you need to be skinny to be pretty.

C: Do you think this is a strategy that anorexia uses with other women? That is to say, to deceive them with the fact that women have to be physically perfect in order to please others.

S: I think it is different for everyone…depends on what has been said to the person in the past but there is similar stuff that comes with it as well…probably being judged, I think at least sometime in their life is something or their outfits as well. I have heard a lot of stories of anorexic people about outfits that don’t fit well on them, or family, friends telling them the outfits don’t fit well on them.. Or body image, in the mind…that comes from social media, I think can have a big impact on that. Other people at school. Social Media looks so perfect. In order to please others. that’s sort of how society puts it a bit…for women, like Kim Kardashian. Want to be perfect. In primary school I got picked on. Now I know that my body image was a good size for a 9 year old. With my research.

C: It seems that anorexia uses others – partners, actresses, singers, etc. – to entangle you in its demands. How did you manage to stop listening to the messages of anorexia, even those said through friends, family?

S: Usually when I am with someone I am comfortable to ignore…I am able to handle it because I want to have fun. Enjoying the moment is more important to me.

C: So, there are times where you have power over anorexia.

S: We only have one shot at life…I want to enjoy it, not let anything get in the way of enjoying my life. I do still listen to it even if I block it out…at the same time I will not allow myself to eat fast foods, maybe a drink. With friends and enjoying my time, I won’t allow myself to eat unhealthy foods..because I don’t want to be overweight..it is for myself I find it annoying…It is me I don’t like (with my body image)…It’s sad and annoying.

C: Are you able to apply your understanding to detect the lies that anorexia transmits? Has your understanding helped you to see that anorexia is liar?

S: I know the lies that it tells me…but I choose to believe it. This confuses me...I know it’s not true, but you chose to listen to it. I just keep believing what people tell me, social media…I still believe that I need to be skinny to be pretty. To learn more about it and how I am thinking is useful.

C: What truths do you know about anorexia?

S: Well…it ruins your relationship with food..doesn’t want you to have any fun.

C: Yet it appears that understanding, knowledge gained of anorexia, that you are still able to have moments of resisting the lies. What’s it like in those moment of resisting the lies.

S: Most times, I just listen to them…give in to them.. When there are distractions, spending time with friends. Helps me get my mind off food and not think about it 24/7 and just enjoy what’s happening and live in the moment.

C: In the moment is your relationship with food any good.

S: I am still mindful of low sugar calories…(”eating well”…that’s my words”)…Or just stay in the calorie limit…if I don’t, I will get really angry with myself.

C: (Taken from David Epston) It seems to me that what you tell me is very useful. It is essential to differentiate between intelligence, and how it is measured within the institutes of the IQ, and wisdom. I think what you're telling me has more to do with wisdom; that is, with an application of the life experiences you've had, and this is a lifelong process. Don't you think so? What do you think of this?

S: I would say it is….(to think about my wisdom in this area) I have a lot of knowledge in it…tons of research…quite easy for me to figure out and know what to eat…what to do…tricking people thinking I am eating or to distract myself from eating. I use to worry about it…but now whatever happens…just go with the flow.

C: I will share you a story of another girl who was beginning to shake off the demands of anorexia, she said, “I will not let what happened to me yesterday impede what can happen today.” Do you think that by using her wisdom she realised the deceptions of anorexia? Do you think she discovered that at first it seems to be your friend and that it promises you everything, and then she saw that what it wants is to torture and even kill girls?

S: Well…yes that’s quite true..it doesn’t want you to live. It just wants to take all your joy away. Torture you, not let you think about anything else.

C: I wonder what anorexia can say to deceive you so much that it makes you think you're okay when it can actually kill you at any time? Do you have any idea how anorexia manages to deceive girls to the point of death while they think they're okay? Any idea why more women are subject to anorexia?

S: It can trick you to thinking that…like you are okay and what you are doing is right. Make you think you deserve some of this torture...and keep tricking you until the point where you can’t even touch food…have to be hospitalised. Even though you know it’s not true.

C: So, your care for others…you don’t want the anorexia to have the final say on your care for others…?

S: It tricks me into believing the anorexia again I put others feelings before mine… I would like to not have to deal with all the food problems...I feel like I have to be skinny before I can live without those problems…or the problems with the food and what the anorexia is telling me… Me personally being happy is all I want…haven’t been for so long…I want to enjoy those moments and continue to work on this…

C: During those moments of happiness…what’s that like?

S: Those are usually good moments…

If you, family member or a friend of yours is experiencing hard times here are some useful contacts - you are not alone:

eheadspace provides free online and telephone support and counselling to young people 12 - 25 and their families and friends:
https://headspace.org.au/eheadspace/
Lifeline:13 11 14
NT Mental health line:1800 682 288

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