Newsletter of The Riverina Anglican College

COLLEGE COUNSELLOR

Goal setting 

Establishing a pattern for your life

 

Are we aiming for anything worthwhile?

 

There is an infinite number of goals we could set for ourselves. How do we pick ones that will get us where we want to go? What should they be about? What is our ultimate objective?

 

Most people set goals with little consideration of the overarching purposes of their lives and the legacy which they want to leave behind. It is worth contemplating our hoped for destination before setting out or we may be working very hard at goals that are taking us in the wrong direction.

 

What do you value in life? What do you want your life to be about? Is it about serving God? Is it about relationships? Is it about serving others? Is it about love? Is it about happiness? Is it about family? Is it about career? Is it about money? Is it about leisure and holidays and seeing the world? Is it about the house or the car or the toy that you want?

 

What makes a life well lived?

 

What will be your legacy?

One interesting way of considering the question is to think about your funeral. What do you want people to say about you? What do you want to be known for?

Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative care nurse identified the top 5 regrets of the dying:

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked so much.
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

If we just set goals without thinking about purpose, we may well be working toward things, that in the end, are not as valuable as we think. In a surprisingly insightful article, Joshua Becker talks about his grandfather as an example of a life well lived, which is well worth a read: https://www.becomingminimalist.com/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying/

 

Write it down

With the above questions in mind, get a piece of paper and a pen and write down the overarching purpose you have for your life. If you’re having trouble figuring out your purpose, write down a list of 10-20 things that you really value. When you look over your completed list, a few things will pop out at you. These are your primary values - things of first importance to you. From the things which pop out, create a sentence which expresses what you want your life to be about. Initially, you could write how you want to be remembered, for example, “I want to be remembered as…”. Once you have the ideas clear, try to restate it positively and in the present tense. Eg. “Michael is…”. This exercise should give you a better idea of the pattern you want your life to follow and will form the basis of the goal setting exercises I go through over the rest of this term.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Michael Lance | College Counsellor