Mental Health & Wellbeing Student/Parent Support 

Starting school: the early weeks

Your child might need some support when school starts. Here are some simple things you can do to help these first few weeks go smoothly:

• Try to drop off your child at school before the bell goes in the morning. Also pick your child up on time. If you’re late it could make your child feel very anxious.
• If your child is worried about being separated from you, look for ways to distract your child at school drop-off. For example, you could try meeting a friend at the gate or walking to school with another child and parent.
• Make after-school time a bit special, with a snack and time for you and your child to chat.
• Be patient if your child wants to blurt out every little detail about school, or clams up completely. You could try saying something like, ‘Tell me one good thing about your day’, rather than asking a lot of questions.
• Be flexible with snacks and meals. Your child will probably be very hungry after school. If you give your child a small, healthy snack straight after school, it’ll help to keep them going until dinner.
• Don’t expect too much academic progress too soon. If your child is happy and seems to be enjoying school, that’s a real achievement. The rest will come later.
• Remember that it’s common for children to play with many different children and also to play on their own sometimes. It takes a while before they settle into a group of friends.
• If your child doesn’t seem to be settling well, or tells you about teasing or bullying, speak to your child’s classroom teacher.

Some children might be tired after school for the first few weeks. Other children might still have the energy for after-school activities. Depending on your child’s energy levels after school, you might want to let your child rest and play at home for a few weeks until you think they’re ready for playdates and after-school activities.

10 Things Children Want Adults To Know

#1. I’m good inside and I need you to acknowledge that rather than shame me or correct me all the time... or imply that I’m manipulative, or *trying* to be difficult or disobedient. I do well if I *can*...not if I *want* to. I am doing my best.

#2. Have more patience with me. I know I mess up a lot. I’m learning. My brain isn’t fully developed... yet. I need your empathy, not frustration.

#3. Laugh with me more and stop being so serious and lecturing. I tune out anyway when you go into monologue mode.

#4. I love it when you’re silly and playful even if I cringe and roll my eyes.

#5. I love spending time with you. Even if I act like I don’t like you - I always want you to *try* to spend time with me and offer to hug me. Don’t take my rejections so personally. I’m just trying to figure myself out.

#6. Trust me and my choices more. Trust that everything you call a ‘mistake’ was something I needed to do. Allow me to make my own meaning out of my experiences and stop projecting your fears, your insecurities and your doubts onto me. Saying ‘you’re a smart kid and I know you’ll work this out. I have your back. How can I help?’ is all I want to hear.

#7. Encourage me to follow my heart and pursue what lights me up.

#8. Don’t impose your will or rule my life through force, intimidation and manipulation.

#9. Lead me and guide me via your influence and close connection... not rigid control and power.

#10. Believe in me and that this is MY life to live... not yours. I’m not you. I need to learn some stuff on my own, and maybe even the hard way. Let me. Trust me enough to navigate this life... because when I see YOU believe in me, it makes it so much easier to do it myself.

Courtesy of Heidi Rogers