Counselling & Psychological Services

Friendships

Establishing independence from their parents and developing their own identity are crucial developmental tasks for adolescents. As young people become increasingly autonomous from their parents, a teen’s peers become an important source of social and emotional support. Strong peer attachments can improve a young person’s wellbeing while problematic peer relationships can have significant psychological, physical, academic and social-emotional consequences. Teens with high levels of confidence and a positive sense of self are more likely to be able to respond effectively to unkind behaviour in unhealthy friendships.

Research published by the Australian Institute of Family Studies in 2018 found that at ages 12-13 and 14-15, over 80% of boys and girls reported having good friends who they trusted and who they felt respected their feelings and listened to them. 

Being in a healthy friendship means

• Feeling good about yourself when with your friends
• Give and take between friends
• Trust and respect help all parties to feel safe
• Proactive problem solving
• Allowing your friends to have other friends
• Respecting a friend’s wish to spend time alone or with others

Students from the earliest years at KWS are explicitly taught positive social skills including problem solving skills for friendships during weekly Social-Emotional Learning lessons. The roll out of the UR Strong program in the Junior School later this term will assist all students to develop the skills, language and confidence to be better friends and to develop healthier relationships. 

In the Senior School, the Wellbeing program supports students to develop their sense of self, to develop empathy and to foster positive peer relationships including effective communication and problem-solving skills. 

While parents often struggle with the changing nature of their relationship with their child, they remain important role-models for their children. Parents can help by

• talking to your child about the qualities of a healthy versus unhealthy friendship 
• encouraging your child to develop friendships with a range of people from different areas of their life like school, sport, church, family friends and neighbours. 
• modelling making and maintaining positive relationships in your own life, with friends, family, partner and colleagues 
• helping your child find ways to change an unhealthy friendship 
• supporting your child to leave an unhealthy friendship