College Counsellor

The Golden Rule These Holidays

Alright, so it’s nearly the end of term and the year! We’ve done the work, it’s time for a break. Maybe your holidays are action-packed, or maybe you have nothing planned. Either way, taking time to take care of yourself is not selfish. 

Self-care can often be seen as an indulgence. Something we do to make ourselves feel better. It got me thinking about the 'Golden Rule', which can be found in some form in almost every ethical tradition throughout history. 

When we think of the Golden Rule, we normally see this as an invitation to be kind to everyone. Be nice to all that you meet. This certainly sounds nice, but is this really what we want?

Imagine you have a child and you said to everyone – treat that child how you would want to be treated. First, you must figure out what that is. How do you want that child to be treated? You don’t want everybody to just be nice to them. You want others to challenge them, discipline them, and tell them when they’re wrong. Would you like everybody to fuss over you, lay everything at your feet, all of the time? Is that something you’d wish for someone that you cared for?

So instead, I wonder if the Golden Rule could be more like: Act as if you genuinely cared for yourself, as you would to someone you cared about. It’s kind of like a reversal of the golden rule. Not to be nice to everybody; instead figure out how you want to be treated, like you were someone you were responsible for taking care of. 

It is your responsibility to take care of yourself because you are in the best position to do that. And not so that you can justify your own indulgent behaviour, but so that you can help others. 

So these holidays, don’t just be nice to everyone. Take care of yourself as you would some other person you actually cared about. It’s called the Golden Rule for a reason – it’s the gold standard. Act as if you genuinely cared for yourself and your friends and family will thank you. And the world will be a lot lighter – or golden, if you will.