Student Wellbeing program

Mary Kasper Peer Aggression Workshops for Years 7-10 Girls

On Tuesday 25th June (Term 2 Week 9) Dr Mary Kaspar an esteemed fellow of the Australian Psychological Society Clinical College and the author of "The Popular Girls" gave a one-hour workshop and presentation to our Years 7-10 girls. Drawing from her twenty years of experience as a clinical psychologist and being mother of three young adults herself, Mary tacked the tricky topic of teen relational aggression with the girls. Through a variety of exercises and insights derived from psychological science, she was able to guide the girls toward fostering great friendships and wellbeing. Using the analogy of being on a set of stairs (climbing over each other to get to the top) verses being on a field (moving together and working as a team) with peers, Mary unpacked many practical ideas about teen relational aggression.

The girls worked in pairs and small groups sharing their experiences of relationships in their current peer groups and working through some challenging concepts concerning how they felt in certain situations and the type of help they would welcome from friends when dealing with issues in a peer group. The sessions were interactive with Mary moving through the assembly of girls with the microphone so that they could share the consensus of their small group discussion with the larger group.

Some of the more reflective feedback from the girls when asked ‘What was the best thing about the talk?’ included:

It gave me more options on how to have a healthy connection with my friends.
Learning what your friend would like you to do when their power is taken away.
It changed how I looked at the world and others around me, I reflected on what she was mentioning and found safety in her words."
She was really nice, and you could tell she cared and knew heaps about what she was talking about. And you could tell she really respected us and wanted us to get something out of what she was saying.
The real-life examples.
I liked the imagery of the stairs and field.
That the person who talked to us was experienced. And she pointed out situations and used a great analogy to explain the social hierarchy.
Knowing that we should not be worried about popularity.
Can a friendship go on forever, is there such thing as toxic friendship and how do you know if you are in one or not.
How to support, how to tell if someone is genuine a friend.
How to deal with friendships that make you feel confused and trapped.
How do you figure out if you are on the stairs or field.
Phases or things to say when you or your friend is being bullied or picked on.

Parent workshops play a crucial role to empower parents to support their teens as they journey through adolescence so that a complementary parent webinar was held the evening prior to Mary’s visit to the school with fourty eight parents logging in to take part in the webinar. The webinar covered many of the aspects teens face in their everyday struggle to grow and nurture positive interactions with peers and Mary outlined the concept of the ‘likeable’ teen verses the ‘popular’ teen. Some parent feedback when asked ‘What did you find most valuable about the talk?’ included:

The insight and explanations. Intellectual and research based.
Learning the research about likeability.
The information on secure attachment.

The Year Advisors and teachers present at the workshops and webinars gave very positive feedback with the overall consensus being that we all wished that someone had talked to us about the things discussed in the workshops when we were teenage girls!

Julie Murrie

Wellbeing Co-ordinator Middle School