Wellbeing News

Life is not just about a destination

This term has been a long and challenging one for many JMSS students.

It has been a term filled with learning and new experiences, along with assessments, exams, and all the pressure and stressful emotions that come with them.

As a School Counsellor, I see some of the sadness, anguish, and despair felt by students.

Often students share with me their view that”‘life is hard now, but it will be better later”. This idea is often reinforced by parents’ overemphasis on “study now, rewards later”. Oftentimes, mental health is completely overlooked in this equation.

Whilst there is no doubt that there is wisdom in delaying short-term gratification for larger benefits, an overemphasis on the goodness that the future will bring can be a flawed idea.

The reality is that we have no way of knowing if life is going to get any better. I know that sounds harsh, but it's true. There is much we can't control of what is going to happen to you. I mean, you can make good choices that will hopefully have a positive impact on you, but overall you have very limited control.

What you do have control of is how you respond. And that's only in your control right now - at this very minute, to this very situation, in this present moment.

A life well lived is one accepting the present moment - the good, the bad, and the ugly. This acceptance gives us more power and control of our lives. 

To quote the wise words of M. Scott Peck, the author of The Road Less Travelled: “Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult, once we truly understand and accept it, then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”

And he is not alone in his sentiment. Author Robert Holden has also said: “Beware of Destination Addiction... a preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job, and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.”

This doesn't mean you'll feel the pain any less, but you will feel more in control. And that does help. I know this, because I'm slowly learning to practise it myself.

And having said that, I hope you have a wonderful term break.

~ George Vlamakis (Student Wellbeing Coordinator)