Being Well at Magill

Setting Boundaries for Your Children

Hello Magill families,

The beginning of the year has been busy in the area of well-being. Our focus has been supporting new receptions to adjust to school life, helping children navigate friendship issues, and engaging in conversations with parents. A major part of fostering a settled and inviting environment for our students involves establishing clear boundaries.

Maintaining consistent boundaries can be challenging for parents, even with the best intentions, as they encounter day to day hurdles while raising their children. Erica South, a Psychologist at Young Minds Health and Development Network, identifies three primary reasons why parents may find it difficult to set boundaries:

1. Taking it Personally: Parents may view their child's boundary-testing behaviour as a personal attack. Viewing the interaction as a battle between themselves and their child can escalate the situation. Understanding that all behaviour represents unmet needs, whether to get something or avoid it, helps parents remain calm and consistent in their responses.
    
2. Avoiding Difficult Emotions: It's natural for parents to want their children to be happy at all times, and to want to shield them from difficult emotions. However, protecting children from these experiences prevents them from developing the essential tools to cope with life’s challenges. Teaching children how to manage problems and work through tough emotions is crucial for their overall development.
    
3. Fear of Being Perceived as Mean: Some parents hesitate to be firm with their children, worrying that it might be perceived as being mean. Recognizing that children thrive on predictable routines and want assistance in managing their emotions makes it easier to set limits. Providing calm and logical explanations for the boundaries in place helps children understand and accept them.

Remember, children's brains are still developing, and they need support in recognizing body signals and developing strategies to manage their emotions. While they may not always agree with the boundaries set by parents or teachers, it is our responsibility to ensure they receive what they need for success and assist them in managing their emotions appropriately.

For more information on this topic from the experts, please visit the following link:

The parenting program 123 Magic which provides further discussion about how treating children like ‘mini adults’ causes problems in boundary setting.

Erica Teumohenga

Assistant Principal - Wellbeing

KidsHelpline: 1800 551 800

Beyond Blue:  1300 224 636

Lifeline: 13 11 14