Parent Partnerships
Screen Time and the Face-Down Theory
ISSUE 8 | TERM 4 | 2025
Written by Dr Justin Coulson
Nearly seven in ten parents say they’re at least sometimes distracted by their phone when spending time with their children,yet when we talk about screen time, we typically only focus on the hours our children spend in front of tablets, phones, or televisions. There’s another kind of screen time that matters just as much, if not more—our own.
Research shows that when smartphones are present during parent-child interactions, people feel less socially connected, more distracted, and enjoy direct communication less. For toddlers and preschoolers, these micro-moments of disconnection matter profoundly. Children are acutely sensitive to where our attention is, and when they sense we’re not fully present, they may respond with big emotions, interruptions, or withdrawal.
Why Presence Matters for Young Children
From birth, babies rely on our faces, voices, and gestures to learn about the world. Eye contact, shared attention, and responsive communication form the foundation of language development, emotional regulation, and empathy. When parents use phones during interactions, they speak less and make fewer nonverbal gestures—research shows 80% of the words and only 61% of the gestures compared to when phones aren’t present.Critically, in one experiment on parental distraction and child memory, two-year-olds were less likely to learn a new/novel word when parents were distracted by even a brief 30-second phone call.
The Still-Face Effect
Another study adapted something known as the “Still Face Paradigm”—where parents briefly become unresponsive to their baby—by having parents look at phones instead of looking at their child when their child wanted their attention. Infants whose parents kept their face fixed on their phone showed more negative emotions, fewer positive emotions, less engagement with toys, and more unsuccessful attempts to get their parent’s attention.In another study, infants of parents who reported more frequent mobile device use showed less positive emotion toward their child and reduced recovery of a ruptured parent/child relationship during reunion phases, even when controlling for a child’s temperament.In other words, regardless of your child’s temperament, your phone use affects your relationship.
It’s not just about “quality time” in a vague sense—these moments literally shape brain development. Children form internal working models of relationships through early interactions, developing views about what relationships are, how they’re formed, and how they should be treated.When parents are frequently distracted, children may feel invisible or undervalued.
Small Shifts That Make a Big Difference
You don’t need to eliminate all technology or feel guilty for using it. It’s about focus and intentionality. Small, meaningful changes make a substantial difference:
Face Down and Away During meals, play, or bedtime, put your phone in another room or face down where notifications aren’t visible. Even a glance interrupts your focus.
Create Screen-Free Rituals Dedicate times when devices are off-limits: morning cuddles, afternoon park visits, or bedtime stories where only you and your child are present.
Narrate Your Choices Say something like, “I’m putting my phone away so I can build blocks with you.” This teaches children that people come before technology.
Use Technology Purposefully If you need your phone, explain why: “I need two minutes to finish this call, then we’ll read your favourite story.” Transparency reduces frustration and teaches healthy boundaries.
Modelling Balanced Habits
Children are natural mimics. If they see adults constantly checking phones, they internalise that as normal behaviour. When they see us set boundaries and prioritise human connection, they learn to do the same.
Screen-free moments aren’t about perfection—they’re about consistency. According to the displacement hypothesis, time spent with technology displaces and decreases meaningful parent-child connections.
By placing your phone out of sight, committing to small daily rituals, and explaining your choices, you protect the vital interactions that help your preschooler grow emotionally, socially, and cognitively.
Your challenge: Choose one daily routine—breakfast, bath time, time at the park—and make it completely phone-free this week. Notice what changes in your child’s behaviour and your connection.
For parents looking to strengthen these skills further, I explore these principles and more in 10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know. The book offers practical strategies, backed by research, to help you foster confident, resilient, and emotionally healthy children—one mindful interaction at a time.
