AFL ROUND ROBIN

AFL Round Robin: Heroes, Hype, and the Curious Case of the Cramping Calves

By Andrew Lockrey (Secondary Sports Co-ordinator) 

In a day that had everything—thrilling goals, inspirational speeches, and one spontaneous leg-related medical emergency—our Years 7–10 boys’ and girls’ AFL teams took on the Round Robin Tournament with the kind of energy usually reserved for Black Friday sales.

First up, the girls’ team, who apparently misunderstood the tournament brief and thought it was a no-mercy demolition challenge. They didn’t just win every single game—they did it without letting the opposition score. At all. Zilch. Zero. Not even a cheeky behind. If their defence were any tighter, we’d need security clearance to talk about it. The grand final? A cool, calm and slightly terrifying 76–1. We’re still not sure how the other team got that one point, some have suggested that Sadi was coaching them as a bit of a side-hustle at the time. 

Speaking of Sadi, she was the queen of the midfield, seemingly everywhere at once—marking, tackling, kicking goals, probably checking the weather app for fun. We suspect there may be two of her.

The boys’ team also flew through the day undefeated in the lead-up, spurred on by Xavier “Bull”, whose pre-game pep talks were part-motivational speech, part war cry, part ancient prophecy. At one point, several players were ready to run through a fence. Or a small shed. 

He didn’t say which. In the most dramatic moment of the day, Tristan managed to cramp BOTH calves simultaneously, his legs gave out like overcooked spaghetti—floppy, confused, and absolutely done for the day. An opposition player heroically stepped in to perform a spontaneous physio session mid-game, while teammates hovered, offering emotional support and zero practical help.

Rye T was a standout all day—reading the play like he had tomorrow’s newspaper and dodging defenders like he owed them money.

Though the boys were narrowly pipped in the grand final, both teams gave it their absolute all, showed immense spirit, and now hold the school record for “Most Calves Cramped in a Single Day.” A huge congratulations to all involved on a day of courage, chaos, and calf-based camaraderie.