Student Wellbeing

Supporting Positive Friendships During Adolescence

Friendships play an important role in the lives of our young people. As students move through the secondary years of schooling, relationships with peers become increasingly significant and can have a strong influence on wellbeing, confidence and a sense of belonging at school.

At the beginning of the school year in particular, friendship groups can shift and change as students reconnect after the holidays, join new classes and meet new people. For many young people, friendships are a positive source of support and enjoyment. Good friendships help students feel connected and understood, and they provide opportunities to develop important social skills such as empathy, communication and problem-solving.

However, friendships during adolescence can also be complex, and it is normal for young people to experience occasional challenges as they learn how to navigate relationships.

It is also common for friendship groups to change during adolescence. Students often develop new interests and mature at different rates, which can sometimes lead to shifts in social circles. While these changes can feel unsettling for young people, they are a normal part of development and often lead to new and positive connections over time.

Parents and carers can play an important role in supporting their child’s friendships. One of the most helpful things adults can do is create opportunities for open and relaxed conversations. Taking an interest in your child’s friendships - such as asking who they enjoy spending time with or what they like to do together - helps young people feel that their relationships matter and that they can talk openly if concerns arise.

Tips for Talking with Your Adolescent About Friendships

Choose relaxed moments to talk – Conversations often work best in informal settings such as in the car, during a walk, or while sharing a meal rather than in a formal “sit-down” discussion.
Show genuine interest – Ask open questions such as “Who have you been spending time with lately?” or “What do you enjoy doing together?” rather than focusing only on problems.
Listen more than you speak – Give your child time to explain their experiences without interrupting or immediately offering solutions.
Stay calm and non-judgemental – Even if you feel concerned about a friendship, reacting strongly can make young people less likely to open up in the future.
Avoid criticising their friends – Negative comments about friends can feel personal to teenagers and may shut down conversation.
Help them reflect rather than solve – Gentle questions such as “How did that make you feel?” or “What do you think might help next time?” encourage problem-solving and independence.
Normalise friendship challenges – Let your child know that disagreements and friendship changes are a normal part of growing up.
Encourage perspective-taking – Help teenagers consider different viewpoints by asking questions like “How do you think your friend might have felt?”
Keep the door open – Let your child know they can come back to you anytime if things change or they need more support.

Encouraging a broad range of friendships can also be beneficial, both inside and outside of school. Having more than one friendship group or a variety of social connections can provide a stronger sense of belonging and reduce the impact of difficulties in any one relationship. Involvement in school activities, sports, clubs or co-curricular opportunities can help students meet peers with shared interests – we have many offerings of these at the College whether in Sport, the Arts, Music, Public Speaking, ICT, Debating, lunchtime group activities, etc.

There may be times when your child experiences friendship difficulties such as disagreements, misunderstandings or feeling left out. These experiences can be distressing, but they also provide opportunities for growth and learning. Supporting young people to develop problem-solving skills and resilience can help them manage future challenges with confidence.

At times, parents may notice signs that their child is struggling socially. Changes in mood, reluctance to attend school, withdrawal from usual activities or frequent worries about friendships may indicate that additional support could be helpful. If concerns persist, it can be useful to seek guidance – speaking with your child’s Year Level or House Coordinator is often a good place to start.

Our College Wellbeing Team is also available to support students in navigating friendship challenges. College Counselling provides a safe space for students to talk through concerns, develop social confidence and learn strategies for managing difficult situations.

Strong friendships contribute greatly to young people’s wellbeing and sense of belonging.

With supportive adults and positive opportunities for connection, students can develop healthy relationships that support them throughout their school years and beyond.

The Benefits Of College Counselling

Our College is committed to providing a supportive environment to help every student navigate their time adapting to changes, transitions and dealing with challenges. A key aspect of this is our College Counselling service, which any student can access to support their emotional and mental wellbeing.

Our service is a confidential, professional and inclusive resource for all students from Years 7 to 12, across both campuses. It is designed to provide support for a range of issues, including but not limited to:

Managing stress and academic pressures
Building self-esteem and resilience
Navigating friendships and social dynamics
Coping with family changes or personal challenges
Addressing feelings of anxiety or sadness, and many more

Our Counselling Team

We have a team of experienced and caring College Counsellors that support students at our Bentleigh East and Mentone Campuses. We are in currently recruiting a new team member for our Mentone Campus.

Bentleigh East Campus

Pooja Gupta - Monday to Thursday

Mentone Campus

Chantelle Meyers - Monday to Friday

Scott Cadby - Monday to Friday

Throughout the year, our team regularly communicates with students via email, classroom visits and by speaking at year level assemblies. To complement this, our Wellbeing Team co-hosts sessions with expert guest presenters to speak to groups of students about topical issues.

How Students Can Access Counselling

Self-referring to the Wellbeing Coordinator counselling@stbedes.catholic.edu.au
Drop-in to our Wellbeing Office at our Mentone Campus (near the Chapel gardens)
Requesting a referral from their Homeroom/Tutor Group teacher, Year Level/House Coordinator on their behalf
Requesting a referral from their Parent/Guardian on their behalf (either via counselling@stbedes.catholic.edu.au or 9582 5999)

College Counselling is tailored to each specific student and can be offered one-on-one or in a group context. Support can also last from a ‘one-off’ session to weekly/ongoing appointments.

How Families Can Support Their Sons

As parents/guardian, your role in your child’s wellbeing is invaluable. Some ways you can assist your child include:

Helping them establish a balanced routine that includes time for study, relaxation, and hobbies
Encouraging healthy sleep habits and a nutritious diet to support their overall wellbeing
Being attentive to changes in their behaviour or mood, and gently ask how they are feeling if and when you notice any changes
Promoting positive self-talk and help them set realistic goals for themselves
Modelling healthy coping strategies, such as managing stress or problem-solving constructively
Celebrating their achievements, no matter how small, to boost their confidence
Encouraging open conversations about their feelings and experiences – but accept and understand if and when they may not want to open up to you (if this is the case encourage them to seek help elsewhere)
Encouraging and reassuring them that seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness
Staying informed about the services and resources the school offers

If you have any concerns about your child’s wellbeing or feel that they could benefit from additional support, please do not hesitate to contact your child’s Year Level or House coordinator of myself. Our staff here to work in partnership with you to ensure your child’s wellbeing is prioritised.

Together, we can ensure the year is a positive and enriching experience for your child.

Scott Cadby, PACFA Reg. Clinical (21605)

Psychotherapist

BA (Psych) MPsychotherapyCouns

College Counsellor and Wellbeing Coordinator