Real Schools
Restorative Practices at BNPS
Empathy is the third component of raising a resilient child. Shelia shared a range of strategies for building empathy. This is a HUGE focus of our restorative approach to solving problems with students when they have conflict.
Empathy, empathetic, and an empath are all terms that can describe the ability to put oneself into another’s shoes. The ability to step outside your own perspective and understand why someone else would think differently. Researcher and Author Dr. Brene Brown describes empathy as feeling with people. She says empathy fuels connection. There is some contention if empathy is an emotion or a skill. It doesn’t matter how we define it. What matters is an understanding that practising empathy is critical to being better at it. It is also essential to understand that empathy is NOT sympathy. (a link to a video at the bottom of the page explains more).
Building empathy starts with identifying emotions. Naming them and noticing them; in self and then in others.
Once a child can name and notice emotions they need to pause and acknowledge the emotions another person might be feeling. Listening is the key to this. In the past teachers and parents would have said things like “Imagine how it would feel,” but what we really want is for our children to listen to how it feels.
The next step is for children to think of a time they have had the same emotion – not the same situation. Empathy is about the feeling, not the cause of the emotion. Ask your child when you feel ..sad, angry, upset, frustrated.. what do you need, or what do you like other people to do…? This is empathy.
To support empathy building children should hear stories and opinions of people who are different from those in their family or neighbourhood.