Sports Clubs & Christian Schools

I’ve often been struck by the intensity of the “underage sports sideline”. As longtime readers of this newsletter will know, I am deeply passionate about sport – initially as a player, then as a coach, then as a coach who was also a parent, then as a parent, and these days – as a player who enjoys playing in “Masters” leagues!

Soccer is probably number one for me, but I have played and/or coached literally a combined total of more than one hundred seasons of cricket, hockey, basketball & track and field. My favourite sport to watch is darts – the combination of a sporting contest between (often overweight) contestants, quick arithmetic, all alongside strategy: it’s a weirdly enticing mix.

Sport has brought to my attention some of the best stories of perseverance, resilience and redemption that I have ever heard; I have also witnessed some incredibly poor examples of human behaviours; sadly, none worse than some examples on the sidelines of sports games involving children. 

The last ten years has brought into focus the need for formalised codes of behaviour not just for participants, but for those who bring their children to sport – parents, grandparents, siblings and guardians. 

 I read this one (below in italics) recently. It got me thinking – of the analogies that could be drawn between the posture being encouraged within this pledge, and how they line up with parenting children who go to a school. 

THE SPORTING PARENT'S PLEDGE.

My child plays sport. I love to watch them train and play. It is truly one of the great joys of my life.

I love them totally - completely and unconditionally.

I love them for who they are - and that love does not change whether they win or lose, succeed or fail, get selected in the junior representative team or not: I love them, I value them and I accept them for no reason other than they are my child.

I'd love to see them become extraordinary in their sport and to be successful - but what I'd love to see even more is them being happy, smiling, healthy and enjoying the experience of playing sport and learning with their friends.

My child may be talented - or not - but that doesn't matter. What matters is helping them to grow and to learn and to realise their potential - if that's what they choose to do. 

I love doing things with them while helping them to become independent and to encourage them to take ownership of and responsibility for their own destiny: after all - it is THEIR journey - and I am just a loving "guide" for that journey - providing them with a map, a compass and a few provisions then wishing them luck as they continue on in any direction they choose. 

My child will benefit from the support and direction of a coach - and I will in turn support my child's coach to the best of my ability. 

In the end, more than anything I want to do my best to parent my child to grow to be a happy, healthy, independent, resilient, contented, mentally well, physically fit adult - with our relationship strong and positive - and to see them find peace and joy in their own lives.

Signed

<<insert signature here>>

I wonder – what might I have done differently when my children were at school? How might I have approached areas of difference (of opinion, approach, perspective, philosophy, faith even) if I had adopted a posture like the one encouraged in this pledge?

A posture of humility, of creating a narrative for my children that did not include embarrassment or awkwardness for them because I extended my opinions and personal preferences into circumstances I was a spectator in, rather than a participant. 

As parents, we participate in so much of our children’s lives that it can be hard to release the protective layers we have placed around them as they grew from infant to toddler, to preschooler, to primary schooler, to high schooler. 

We want them to know of our presence (even from a distance), always, as they engage with others. Their own maturing, their own capacity to meet new challenges, can be hindered by our own inability to resist our maturing as parents (all in the name of “this is how I do it”).

Maybe the sports clubs are on to something. Maybe a pledge – even to ourselves, in the presence of God – to seek His guidance as we parent in humility and extend grace into circumstances we find ourselves in (school, church, family, friends, life) – might create that peace seeking and peacemaking environment our children yearn for in their educational journey. 

Shalom.