Middle School

This term, Oakleigh Grammar students are focusing on community issues and service, debating respectfully and positive social relationships. These topics aim to acknowledge that in the whirlwind of teenage life, it is understandably easy to get caught up in day-to-day stresses, whether it's schoolwork, friendships, or the pressures of growing up. But what if there was a simple way to make life a little smoother, to reduce tension and build stronger connections? That’s where gratitude and de-escalation come into play.

The Magic of Gratitude

Gratitude is more than just saying "thank you". It’s about recognising and appreciating the positive aspects of life, even the small ones. For teenagers, this could be as simple as feeling thankful for a friend who listens, a teacher who cares, or even the sunshine after a rainy day. Expressing gratitude has a powerful effect on our minds and emotions. Studies have shown that when we regularly practice gratitude, we’re more likely to feel happier and less stressed. This is because focusing on what we’re thankful for shifts our mindset from what’s wrong to what’s right in our lives.

For example, imagine a day where everything seems to go wrong: you’re late to school, forget your homework, and have a misunderstanding with a friend. It’s easy to let the negative emotions take over. But if you take a moment to acknowledge something you’re grateful for – perhaps a classmate who helped you out or even the fact that you got through the day – it can change your perspective and lighten your mood.

De-escalation: Cooling Down Conflict

We all know that tensions can run high during the teenage years. With emotions on the surface, conflicts with friends, siblings, or even parents can escalate quickly. That’s where the skill of de-escalation comes in. De-escalation is about calming down a situation before it gets out of hand. It’s like hitting the pause button during a heated argument, giving everyone a moment to breathe and think. This can be especially helpful when emotions are intense and words start to fly.

Here are a few simple de-escalation techniques that can make a big difference:

Take a Deep Breath: When you feel tension rising, pause and take a few deep breaths. This helps to calm your body and mind, giving you space to think before you react.
Listen First, Speak Later: Often, we’re so eager to get our point across that we don’t really listen to what the other person is saying. By truly listening, you might find that the issue isn’t as big as it seems, or that there’s a simple solution.
Use “I” Statements: Instead of blaming the other person, try to express how you feel. For example, saying “I feel upset when…” is less confrontational than “You always…”, which can help reduce defensiveness and open up a more constructive dialogue.
Take a Break: If things are getting too heated, it’s okay to step away and take a break. This doesn’t mean avoiding the issue, but rather giving yourself time to cool down so you can approach the situation with a clearer head.

For our students: Putting it all together

Combining gratitude with de-escalation can be a game-changer. When you approach life with a sense of thankfulness, you’re less likely to get caught up in negativity. And when conflicts do arise, using de-escalation techniques can help you navigate them with calmness and respect. So next time you find yourself in a potentially tense situation, try to remember something you’re grateful for and use a de-escalation strategy. You might be surprised at how much easier it is to resolve conflicts and maintain peace in your relationships.

In the end, these small acts of gratitude and de-escalation can help you build stronger, more positive connections with the people around you – making your teenage years just a bit more enjoyable, and demonstrating great leadership, too.

Leigh Gridley

Acting Middle School Pastoral Coordinator