Student Wellbeing

Caring for your child’s wellbeing even when you’re not coping

Parenting is one of the most rewarding and demanding journeys you can walk through. We pour ourselves into our children’s growth, happiness, and wellbeing—but what happens when we, as parents, feel like we’re running on empty?

It’s important to recognise that your wellbeing is deeply connected to your child’s. Children are incredibly perceptive. They sense when we’re anxious, overwhelmed, or emotionally distant. That’s why caring for yourself is not a selfish act; it’s an essential part of caring for your children.

1. Acknowledge when you're struggling

It's okay to admit that you're not coping. Parenthood doesn’t come with a manual, and life can throw challenges that feel too heavy to carry. Stress, grief, burnout, financial strain, or relationship issues can all impact your emotional availability to your children.

Recognising this is not a sign of failure, it’s the first step towards healing.“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

Let these words remind you that you don’t have to carry it all on your own. God invites you to bring your burdens to Him, and He promises rest.

The oxygen mask analogy – Putting yourself first to care for others

Think about what flight attendants always say before take-off: “Put on your own oxygen mask before helping others.”

Why? Because if you run out of oxygen, you won’t be able to help anyone else—even your own child.

Parenting is no different. When you’re running low—emotionally, spiritually, or physically—you may be functioning, but you’re not breathing deeply. You might be ticking things off the list, but you’re doing it on fumes.

Putting on your own “oxygen mask” might look like:

• Asking someone to watch the kids so you can rest or pray
• Going for a quiet walk to clear your head
• Talking to a friend, GP or counsellor

• Spending time with God in stillness and reflection

   

These things aren’t indulgent. They’re essential. You matter. And when you’re cared for, you can give your best to your children—not just what’s left over.

2. Be honest with your kids, in an age-appropriate way

If you’re not coping, you don’t have to pretend everything’s fine. Children appreciate honesty. Depending on their age, a simple explanation like, “Mum’s been feeling a bit tired lately, but I’m doing some things to feel better,” can help them feel safe and included.

Being open teaches kids that emotions are normal and that it’s okay to ask for help when they need it.

3. Reach out for support

You were never meant to do this alone. Whether it’s a trusted friend, a pastor, a counsellor, or a parent support group, connecting with others can lift a heavy weight from your shoulders.

Church communities can be a lifeline, offering both spiritual and practical support. Don’t hesitate to ask for prayer, help with meals, childcare, or simply someone to talk to.

In Australia, services like Beyond Blue, PANDA, and Parent Line are available to support parents who are struggling with their mental health or parenting load.

4. Prioritise the basics for you and your child

When life feels overwhelming, it helps to return to the basics:

• Sleep: Try to maintain a restful bedtime routine.
• Nutrition: Eat foods that fuel your energy and mood.
• Connection: Spend even just five minutes of quality time with your child, reading, talking, or cuddling.
• Faith: Read a short Bible verse together, listen to worship music, or say a simple prayer at the end of the day. These spiritual anchors provide peace and reassurance.

5. Model self-care and resilience

One of the most powerful lessons you can give your child is to show them how to take care of themselves and bounce back from hard times. When they see you choosing healthy habits—even small ones—they’re learning life skills that will serve them into adulthood.

You don’t need to be perfect. Just be present. Try again. That’s enough.

A final word of encouragement

You are not alone. God sees your heart, your fatigue, and your silent prayers. Even when your strength runs low, His does not.

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” — Isaiah 40:29 (NIV)

Your love for your child is more than enough. On the days when you feel like you’re falling short, remember: your presence matters far more than your perfection.

Take a deep breath. Accept God’s grace. One step, one prayer, one hug at a time—you’re doing better than you think.

Georgia Akiki

Foundation-Year 6 Counsellor