Wellbeing 

Routines and Positive Behaviour for Children

During a school day we establish and reinforce many routines to help students manage the expectations of the day. Routines provide students with a sense of stability and help students to know what is coming next. Here is an article from the Raising Children website that explains the benefits of setting up routines at home, some guidance on how to establish and maintain routines at home. 

Routines: positive behaviour strategy

Key points

•  Routines can encourage positive behaviour because they help children learn what’s expected of them.

•  Routines also help you plan for times when children might behave in challenging ways.

•  Talking about routines with children can help them understand and follow your family’s rules.

Routines: why they work as a positive behaviour strategy

Routines help children cooperate. This is because family routines make it clear who should do what, when, in what order and how often. For example, your child is more likely to wash up after dinner if it’s their job to do it as part of your family routine.

A routine can also help you plan for times when children are likely to behave in challenging ways, like school mornings when there are time pressures on your child and you. In this situation, a routine helps children know what to expect – for example, you need to leave by 8 am. It also helps them understand what you expect from them – for example, they can help by putting their lunch in their lunch box.

You can also build routines for young children around play, meals and sleep. When children have had enough good-quality sleep, nutritious food and plenty of play, they’re more likely to behave in positive ways.

Creating routines to help with children’s behaviour

Here are tips to get you started on using family routines to encourage positive behaviour:

•   Plan routines for demanding times in the family day – for example, before and after work and school. Things often run more smoothly when you have a routine that gives everyone something to do or that keeps children busy while you get things done.

•  Add some downtime into your child’s routine. This gives your child time for a sleep or rest, which can help with behaviour. It also gives your child free time to play and entertain themselves.

•  Link activities together. This can help your child get through boring activities faster. It also works because doing one activity helps you remember to do the

other one. For example, your child could put their laundry in the basket when they go into the bathroom to clean their teeth.

•  Make limits part of the routine – for example, limits on activities like screen time. So a routine for when you’re cooking dinner might be your child does homework and then watches one TV program.

•  Explain routines to your child. Even toddlers can understand simple, consistent explanations. For example, ‘First clean teeth. Then story time with Dad’.

•   Talk with children about why routines are important. For example, ‘We have dinner early on Thursdays so we can get you to gymnastics class on time’.

•   Use language or ideas your child can understand to talk about your routine. For example, if your child is too young to understand time, try saying, ‘We only watch Play School’, instead of ‘We only watch half an hour of TV’.

Getting children to follow routines

So you’ve got a routine, but how do you get your child to follow it? Here are ideas:

•  Put up an illustrated poster of the steps in your routine where everyone can see it. Making the poster with your child could be fun and give you the chance to talk about the routine.

•  Find ways to remind your child to follow the routine without your help. For example, put a radio alarm clock in your child’s room. The music can be a signal that it’s time to wake up, time to start getting ready for school, or time to come out of the bedroom in the morning.

•  Think about whether parts of the routine can be your child’s responsibility. Your child can learn new skills and help the family by doing household chores. For example, your preschooler could set the table.

•   Praise your child when they follow the routine without help. Praise works best when you’re specific about the behaviour you’re praising. For example, ‘Thanks for getting your lunch box out of your bag. Good remembering!’

Acknowledgements

Our content is regularly reviewed for quality and currency. The last review of this article was by Dr Lucy Tully, psychologist and Senior Lecturer, Child Behaviour Research Clinic, The University of Sydney.

References

Agazzi, H., Shaffer-Hudkins, E.J., Armstrong, K.H., & Hayford, H. (2020). Promoting positive behavioral outcomes for infants and toddlers. Springer.

Corpus, J.H., & Good, K. (2020). The effects of praise on children’s intrinsic motivation revisited. In E. Brummelman (Ed.), Psychological perspectives on praise (pp. 64-71). Routledge.   https://doi.org/10.4324/9780429327667-7.

Dickstein, S. (2002). Family routines and rituals: The importance of family functioning: Comment on the special section. Journal of Family Psychology, 16(4), 441-444. https://doi.org/10.1037//0893-3200.16.4.441.

Larsen, K.L., & Jordan, S.S. (2020). Organized chaos: Daily routines link household chaos and child behavior problems. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 29(4), 1094-1107. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-019-01645-9.

Lev, Y.B., & Elias, N. (2020). Digital parenting: Media uses in parenting routines during the first two years of life. Studies in Media and Communication, 8(2), 41-48. https://doi.org/10.11114/smc.v8i2.5050.

McWilliam, R.A. (2010). Routines based early intervention: Supporting young children and their families. Baltimore Publishing Co.

Last updated or reviewed

01-10-2024