Wellbeing

Fear of Failure

No one wants to fail. No one wants to feel like they have not achieved what they set out to accomplish. Life is full of situations that we cannot control and we are all, at some point, going to fall short of the expectations that we set for ourselves.

A fear of failure is a common challenge that many students (and adults) face and it can often be linked to performance anxiety and low self-esteem. It usually develops when children begin school and can manifest in different ways. For instance, they might draw blanks on tests, refuse to answer questions in class or become shy and reserved in certain situations. This fear, can get in the way of academic success.

A fear of failure can develop for many reasons, some of which being:

• Past negative experiences
• Pressure from external sources (family, friends, etc.)
• Societal pressure
• Perfectionism
• Unrealistic expectations

Research has shown that children usually tie their self-worth to what their parents think about them. They might feel their parents won’t love or appreciate them as much if they don’t maintain high grades, superb athletic or artistic performance, perfect behaviour, etc. Naturally, this belief results in a fear of failure.

You can increase your child’s feelings of self-worth by making it clear that you love your child unconditionally, even when he makes mistakes or uses poor judgment.

Tips for Overcoming Fear of Failure

There are many ways that you can help your child develop a healthy, persistent approach to life. 

• Emphasise effort, not ability or the end result. 
• Reframe failure as an opportunity for growth and learning.
• Set realistic goals and expectations for yourself.
• Break down tasks or assignments into smaller, more manageable parts.
• Practice self-compassion and be kind to yourself, even when things don’t go as planned.
• Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem.
• Remember that failure is a natural part of the learning process and doesn’t define your worth as a person.
• Do not forget that the ultimate goal is to better one’s self rather than to get a specific result.

As our children learn to embrace mistakes, they’ll realise that giving up is not the answer, and they’ll find the confidence and courage to tackle new challenges with enthusiasm. 

As always, please feel free to reach out for more information about the research surrounding fear of failure or anything else wellbeing related. I am contactable via compass, through the office or via email – louise.jarvis@education.vic.gov.au

Have a lovely weekend,

Louise Jarvis

Wellbeing Specialist Teacher