Key Outcome
You & your child will articulate the best ways you can help each other when your child is experiencing difficult friendship issues.
Objective
Bear with me a second while I let your parents in on a little secret. Parents, are you ready for this? Brace yourself. Here it comes… Your child probably doesn’t tell you everything! There, I said it. (That wasn’t so bad, right!?) The reality is kids do not often tell their parents if they’ve had a Friendship Fire® with a friend, or they’re dealing with an up-and-down friend, or they’re having trouble making friends.
So, why do kids keep this stuff on the down-low? Well, there are 5 main reasons:
- Your child is worried you’re going to freak out. You might call the other kids parents, you might call the school, you might say the wrong things, you might cry, you might say “I knew that kid wasn’t good for you!” Basically, you might say and do all the wrong things and just make matters worse.
- Your child is embarrassed. They want you to think they’re cool and popular and awesome. Your child wants to make you proud! (Now would be a good time to tell your child how proud you are and why!)
- Your child knows it sounds silly. Kids are totally aware that sometimes the things they’re upset or annoyed about aren’t a big deal, but they can’t shake it. When they think about telling an adult, they think parents + teachers won’t get it!
- Your child is so tuned in to you. They know if you’re stressed out or have a lot on your plate right now and they don’t want to add to your pile by unloading their friendship drama on you. They also know it will upset you – so they protect you from that.
- They’re worried you’ll take their device away. If the Friendship Fire sparked online, children will often not say anything because they don’t want to lose their device or the app/game they’re on.
Kids don’t tell their parents everything…nor should they! We all crave a little privacy from time to time. Wouldn’t it be great, however, if your child could view you as a helpful resource and see you as someone they could talk to!? Well, let’s get on that!
Materials
- Print out: Nippers and Grown-Ups
- Pen or pencil
Instructions
- Using the Nippers & Grown-ups activity sheet, complete the sentences by writing or saying at least three things the other person can do to help navigate the world of friendships and three things you’d prefer they didn’t do!
- Be totally honest and, for the love of pizza, don’t respond by saying, “But I already do that!” or, “Are you nuts? There’s no way I’m doing that!” Turn this into a discussion and create a little plan about how you can help one another!
Next Steps
Order Pizza…obviously! 🙂
Source: https://urstrong.com/resource/parent-child-plan-for-friendship-fires/