Ranges TEC News

I will hate you forever!

I would like to share with you a memory of my Dad from when I was 12. It points to how I was raised, how it shaped me as a father, and also how I lead the students of Ranges TEC as Director.

It is a simple story that happened on a normal week night of the year. We had finished eating tea as a family and it was time to do the dishes. There used to be a dishwashing roster but times were changing - my two much older sisters were no longer around much to help. I was a cheeky kid who always had a smart comment to make at not always the right time. I can’t remember now what I’d said to Dad but I found myself in trouble. Dad spoke to me in a stern, strong tone that was unwavering. My punishment that night was to do the dishes. Dad washed and I was forced to dry.

I was so angry. This was unfair. It wasn’t even much of a comment. My sister should have been helping. As I dried the dishes I was seething with anger. As I thought about my Dad I said to myself, “I will hate you forever! I will never forgive you for this!” We worked together in silence. It felt like the dishes took a lifetime.

Only a few minutes had passed when Dad spoke to me again. I was still angry, maybe a bit less, but I still didn’t want to talk to him. Dad’s tone had changed. His voice was softer, and calm. He asked me a question about another task that we had been working on together. It took a bit of perseverance on his part but he drew me out with his calmness and his focus on me. 

Dad conveyed to me that no matter what I’d done he was on my side, that he cared for me and loved me but he also wouldn’t let me get away with poor behaviour. He expected me to own what I’d done, make things right and then get on with doing life together. Somehow my Dad was able to convey unwavering love for me and draw me up to a higher standard. Getting something wrong and fixing a mistake was never the last straw, it was just something that needed to be owned and made right.

The unwavering love my father demonstrated to me is what Ranges TEC calls unconditional positive regard. We know that our students are works in progress. Many of them look like adults already, but they are still so young and have much to learn. There is a teaching philosophy that I love that says, '[Children’s] minds are not vessels to be filled with knowledge, but fires to be kindled' (Plutarch). This is what Ranges TEC is about. Our desire is for each student to find their gifts, talents and how God has uniquely wired them; for them to be themselves with confidence; apply themselves to work and thinking; and perhaps most importantly, have the courage to make mistakes. For this to happen they need to know that whilst it is essential to take ownership of mistakes, these mistakes do not diminish who they are. In this way we stoke a fire that grows in strength and maturity, fueled with humility and accountability.

As Director I am so encouraged by how 2024 has started. 

Ric Thorpe

Director Ranges TEC