Wellbeing

Welcome back to Galilee’s Wellbeing Toolbox! 

This week we will be exploring the power of “I statements”

Thomas Gordon developed the concept of an “I” statement in the 1960s, contrasting to “you” statements, which can come across as confrontational. For example, “You never listen to me,” as opposed to, “I feel unheard when you talk over me.” “I” statements enable people to be assertive without making accusations, and in turn allows for important and necessary conversations to happen so all involved can feel safe, heard, understood and supported in their relationships. 

“I statements” are a powerful communication tool our children can use to express how they are feeling or what they need, without blaming or criticising others. By structuring statements to start with "I feel" or "I need," children learn to take ownership of their emotions and communicate more effectively. This is crucial for children's emotional development and their ability to resolve disputes amicably.  For example, rather than saying, "You make me sad when you run away from me," a child might say, "I feel sad when you run away from me during recess."

“I statements can be created using a number of simple formats of; 

“I feel ________when __________.”

or 

“I feel ______ when ________ because _________.”

or

“I feel ________ when  _______ and I would like ________.”

“I feel confused when you don’t talk to me”

“I feel angry when the crayons are used on the walls because it destroys the paint.”

“I feel confused when I am not allowed to play the game and I would like to find a way to be included.”

Implementing "I Statements" in Daily Life

We can encourage the use of "I statements" through various strategies:

• Modelling Behaviour: Adults should use "I statements" in their own communication. For example, a parent might say, "I feel upset when toys are left out because it makes the house messy," instead of "You never clean up your toys."
• Role-Playing: Engage children in role-playing scenarios where they practise using "I statements" in different situations. This can be a fun and interactive way to reinforce the concept.
• Positive Reinforcement: Acknowledge and praise children when they use "I statements" appropriately. Positive reinforcement helps to solidify this communication habit.

Teaching children to use "I statements" is a simple yet powerful tool that can have lasting impacts on their emotional and social development. By helping children articulate their feelings in a constructive manner, we equip them with the skills necessary for healthy interpersonal relationships and emotional wellbeing. 

Julie and Paddy 

Wellbeing Leaders