Chaplains Chat 

There are many things that life has taught me along the way, but one of the most important lessons that I would like to share with you all this week, is learning to major on the minors. Paying attention to the ‘little things’ of life, really does make a positive difference not only to others, but also to oneself. 

I love it that so many of our students have already learned the importance of this skill. While helping up at ‘kiss n drop’ Tuesday morning, a precious grade 4 boy came walking up to me with a big smile on his face and handed me a beautiful bunch of fragrant roses. This random act of kindness really made my day. What touched my heart the most was that at a moment in time, he had thought of me, sought me out and delivered his gift. That’s awesome. A simple act of kindness, yet it is etched on my heart and will be a warm precious memory that I will treasure.

In an article, author Maggie Dent calls these ‘micro – moments of connection’ as Love Bridges. I like this metaphor. There are many ways, some really small, that build a heart connection. The power of positive, loving and secure relationships cannot be over stated. Imagine if we aimed that every interaction we had with our children was an opportunity to nurture stronger heart connections. It is the innate need of every child to feel strongly bonded to a significant caring adult. We call this ‘secure attachment.’

Keeping this concept in mind, can certainly help when dealing with some of the challenging behaviour in your child. It is your priority to work at the relationship first and the behaviour second. I’ve heard Dr. Justin Coulson from Happy Families say, “Connection before Correction.” When our children feel connected, they are usually less likely to need to act out to gain power or attention.

Here are a few ways to build ‘Micro Moments of Connection’ with your children.

• Write little ‘love notes’ and randomly slip these into their lunches reminding them that they are special and loved.
• Use non-verbal messages of connection – a wink, high fives or thumbs up.
• Create a unique bedtime ritual
• Create a small jar of captured kisses.
• Hide special messages around the house when you go away.
• Play a board game together.
• Go the park for a play
• Create moments of lightness and laughter often.
• Spontaneously join them in drawing or colouring in.
• Bake their favourite cake/biscuits together and then have a special ‘tea party.’
• Join them on the couch to watch their favourite show.
• Often engage in spontaneous hugs, cuddles and tickles.
• Build an inside ‘cubby’ together.

Have you noticed that none of these activities cost any money?   Giving the gift of our time and energy is so very precious to our children. Feeling loved through a strong heart connection will help children feel safer and more secure in their world.  They will also be calmer and this then allows them to behave better and learn better.

The more ‘micro – moments’ of connection we add into our homes, the happier everyone will be. So can I encourage you to ignore the unanswered emails, step over the pile of washing and go build some ‘love bridges’ with your children – it is never too late and you will be creating some precious family moments that they will treasure forever.

Blessings,

Veronica