Principal's Report
An unemotional life is barely worth living but there is no doubt that our unchecked, negative emotions can bring us, and those with whom we interact, enormous pain. Emotions are driven by all sorts of factors: the need to be loved, the need to get what we want, the need to be the centre of attention, the need to be in control, and so on. When those ‘drivers’ are not finding fulfilment we put on our displays of anger and jealousy and sarcasm. Or we retreat to our preferred display of tears, endless melancholy or stony silence.
Very often we excuse those reactions. “That’s just us,” we say. “Can’t help it.” That isn’t true, of course. We can help it and we should help it. No human quality is beyond change. As someone has very wisely said, temperament is not destiny… To avoid being overwhelmed by negative emotions, our positive ones need to be strengthened.
The list below is hardly new, but it is easy to forget the obvious steps that wise people advise us to take:
The first one is to be careful of the advice you listen to. Some people can really wind you up and be detrimental to your psyche and to your consequent actions. Listen to other more positive voices.
Secondly, stay away from the ‘bear pit.’ Remember that bears like to be with other bears… Stay away from the gossipers and back-stabbers. In the end, they will only do you harm.
Thirdly, deal with negative emotions quickly. Don’t let them fester and develop out of proportion. Deal with the underlying issues straight away.
Fourthly, recognise what makes you feel good and keep visiting it.
Fifthly, be aware that you sometimes need a ‘holding-pattern’ strategy to give you time to recover yourself. That might involve reading a book, watching a film, going to the football, going shopping, dining with friends; anything that will take your mind off things for a while and give your emotions a bit of a break.
Sixthly, be part of a positive team that is focused on helping others. Join one, or create your own and ask other people to join you!
Seventhly, practise emotional flexibility. Little children do it all the time. While others are left emotionally upset by the negative ‘flak’ they’ve just received, little children have moved blithely on to the next activity and completely forgotten the former turmoil…
Eighth… determine to be a person who shares happiness and hope with others.
Of course these eight ideas all link back to our traits:
- Kind, compassionate and trustworthy
- Optimistic about the future
- Knowledgeable about learning and self-aware
- Caring and respectful of themselves and others
Michelle Crofts
Principal