The Dimensions of Meaningful Conversation: Active Listening

Meaningful conversations are an important part of the wellbeing program at Year 7 and 8 and a crucial component of a successful classroom.

Listening has several components, all of which are necessary. Each implies that listening is an active skill, hence ‘active listening’. Listening necessitates cultivating focus inspired by our respect for our interlocutor(s) and our willingness to engage and be open to new perspectives. It requires a consideration for the other in the extension of courtesy, time and space for a conversation to be properly heard. Focus is demanding and pointed, but it must also be flexible to consider the import of what has been shared. So, listening means being present and mindful of the dimensions of a conversation: the content, the associations, and the implications. 

Secondly, and this is perhaps one of the most difficult facets of active listening, we must withhold immediate judgement. If we are genuinely invested in a conversation, we must push past the tendency to judge and to probe and even jump the rescue of the other. To do so undermines the respect required in the act of listening and prioritises our response over the contributions of our partner. There is time for questioning later! Withholding judgement is important, too, because it provides us the space in our attention to properly conceive the message received. It is an act of deliberate focus which enables the next step in active listening: Reflection. This is important, initially, to ensure comprehension. Reflection is thoughtful and therefore responsive to the contributions made. It stirs empathy in us and understanding of an alternate perspective. But sometimes the message we have received is not always clear and so the next step of active listening is actually spoken: Active listening requires that we clarify our understanding and check-in with our partner to ensure that what has been said has been comprehended. Focused or closed questions can be useful to provide immediate feedback on the progress of our conversation. Active listening is to summarise. Again, it is verbal. Summaries provide some finality to the contribution made. They conclude the process of clarification and ensure that what has been said is accurate to the intended meaning of the speaker. They provide opportunity for follow up, too, and a mechanism for testing for relevance. 

The last step in active listening is to share. This might feel like an odd step because this necessitates speaking rather than listening or seeking clarification on what has been heard. However, a meaningful conversation is built through the contributions of all actors constructing a shared understanding in the dynamic process of role-sharing between speaker and listener and speaker. By taking our turn, we assume the role of speaker and conclude our role as listener by being responsive to the dimensions of the conversation.

Listening is an active process that reveals our engagement with others and our desire to contribute meaningfully to community. As an active process, there is skill involved and, as a skill, we can get better through practise.

Tristan Hill

Middle Years Coordinator