Wellbeing:

Self-harm

There are a number of reasons why a young person may self-harm.

Taken from group chats led by professionals | headspace & Understanding self-harm -- for health profesionals | headspace

Jacinta Vengtasamy

Mental Health Practitioner

There are a number of reasons why a young person may self-harm. It may be a way of telling other people about their distress and asking for help, a way of coping with stress or emotional pain, or a symptom of a mental illness like depression. Sometimes it suggests that they are thinking about suicide. Not everyone who self-harms is suicidal, but sometimes people die as a result of their self harm behaviour.

This video is a story about a young person's experience of self harm and her process of getting help. It is based on real life stories and the characters are played by actors.

Here’s another helpful video about self-harm:

What is self-harm? And why do people self-harm? 

Self-harm behaviours are varied. The severity, frequency and meaning of self-harm varies as does the behaviour it might involve. 

Self-harm needs to be understood as often a response to intense emotional or physical pain and psychological distress, including overwhelming negative feelings, thoughts or memories, and a sense of hopelessness. 

Click on the graphic to  enlarge

For some, self-harming can have an addictive element, possibly due to the natural release of endorphins in response to pain, and possibly due to a lack of alternative coping strategies. In some cases, self-harm is accompanied by suicidal thoughts. 

Rather than dismiss self-harm as a ‘cry for attention’  there is an urgent need for strategies that can promote community awareness and understanding of self-harm.

Like any learned behaviour, young people do sometimes copy other young people, so may begin self-harming when they learn that others are self-harming. However it begins, self-harming should be assessed individually and responded to, rather than ignored or dismissed. 

Young people who have experienced abuse or sexual assault, bullying or other traumatic and distressing experiences are likely to be at increased risk of self-harm.

How can I help my young person? 

Addressing the underlying issues that negatively impact on a young person’s mental health and wellbeing are key. 

For many people the kinds of help they need will include: 

• Talking to someone 
• Understanding the brain physiology involved 
• Learning new skills in self-soothing 

If you are concerned about someone in your family, the first step is to talk with them and offer support. Encourage them to talk as well to a school counsellor, school nurse, a teacher, a GP, a mental health professional. 

Many young people support other people who are self-harming. This this can be really distressing and difficult and if your young person is in this position they probably also need support. 

Some key ways to help your young person 

• Remember that asking about self-harm is ok. If your young person is not thinking of self-harming, asking them won’t give them the idea. 
• Keep your tone of voice as calm as possible 
• Avoid any kind of judgmental attitude or comment 
• Avoid implying self-harm is ‘just attention seeking’ or manipulative 
• Show your support with warm, caring interactions. Offer to organise extra support 
• ‘flip the coin’ and focus as much as possible also on self-care, fun and relaxing activities, build more positive time together into your week 
• Offer to go with your young person when they get extra help 
• Discuss the fact that you respect their need for confidentiality or privacy, that you’re open to getting suggestions from whoever your young person sees (if they do see a professional) and that you will probably need to hear back any recommendations about how to be helpful and how not to be unhelpful, and what to do if your young person is unsafe.