Parenting Tip

Going On  30 Wise Old Sage?

This excerpt taken from  The Culture Translator by Axis, Vol. 5, Issue 10.

In preparation for her 30th birthday, Taylor Swift penned a “30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30” article for Elle magazine.  It’s highly likely that teenage and twenty-something fans will read her every word, thanks to her massive success and outsized influence—which means if our children are reading, we should too.

There’s a lot to wade through, some silliness (“vitamins make me feel so much better!”), some real gems, and some total lumps of coal. What’s great about it, though, is it provides us a unique opportunity for conversation, one that we shouldn’t squander by only pointing out what she gets wrong. Start, instead, by asking your teens what they liked about it, then mention some of the solid pieces of advice you liked as well. By starting with what’s good, you will win in a multitude of ways with your kids, not the least of which is showing that you aren’t against them and the things they love.

Some of the gems we liked are:

1. “I learned to block some of the noise. Social media can be great, but it can also inundate your brain with images of what you aren’t, how you’re failing, or who is in a cooler locale than you at any given moment.” She goes on to mention some ways she fights against the negative impacts of social media—probably things we’ve told our teens one gajillion times, but maybe it’ll actually stick when she says it!

12. “Apologizing when you have hurt someone who really matters to you takes nothing away from you….Learn how to make a sincere apology, and you can avoid breaking down the trust in your friendships and relationships.” Beautiful.

18. “Realizing childhood scars and working on rectifying them.” Because of being the “loser” as a child, Swift exulted in her girl squad as an adult, not “realizing that other people might still feel the way I did when I felt so alone.” She concludes by saying, “It’s important to address our long-standing issues before we turn into the living embodiment of them.” We couldn’t have said it better.

From there, you’ll earn the right to ask good questions that get them to think more deeply about her advice, hopefully deciphering for themselves what’s worth holding on to versus what’s misleading, confused, wrong, or unhelpful.