WELLBEING

Nicki Chalmers

Mental Health and Wellbeing Coordinator

Worry 

We all have worries and anxiety in life, which is completely normal and often helpful to keep us safe. Worry and anxiety serves us as a caution signal. It’s a way for our brains to “think ahead.” Am I ready for this?, what will happen?, is it safe to go ahead? Worry isn’t always bad, so long as it doesn’t last too long.  When worries, what-if’s or relived thoughts become too much it impacts our lives in a negative fashion.

As our children grow they face many new things. Starting school, meeting new people, learning new sports. As they face new challenges it can come with mixed emotions. While it can be exciting for some, it can also be stressful! Some children avoid things that feel new or challenging. Many children worry too much, which in turn makes it difficult for them to enjoy activities, sleep or eat well and can then become stressful for us as parents. 

I know myself, as a parent and educator, have found myself saying “don’t worry!” or “that’s nothing to worry about!” However, this isn’t really helpful to our children. It tells them that it’s wrong to feel that way and only makes them worry more.

Here are some things you can do to help normalise worry and help your child through worrying situations:

• Try not to avoid every worrying situation for them. We need to teach them coping skills. By supporting them through worrying situations in healthy ways they will learn not only coping strategies, but also that some things aren’t worrying about. 
• Help them build their bank of calming strategies. Try lots of things and figure out what helps calm your child. Is it time alone, deep breaths, petting an animal, talking to someone special, reading a book, a soft toy, meditation, calming music. 
• VALIDATE their feelings. Let them know you understand and that it’s ok to be worried and feeling that way. Listen with patience. Ultimately, this leads our children to become comfortable with their feelings and to share them confidently. Holding in emotions can lead to more worry. Avoid saying things like “it’s nothing to worry about” or “don’t be silly.” Try to keep things positive and supportive such as “This could be tricky, but I’ll be here to help” or “It’s okay if you make a mistake, that means you will learn something new” or remind them of a time when they were worried but it wasn’t so bad after all.
• Provide helpful advice to solve the problem. Don’t fix the problem for them, together work through possible solutions to alleviate their worries and decide on a plan, so they can build their skills in dealing with future worries on their own. Help and support them to practice these skills.
• Normalise worrying. Together with your child or as a family, create a list of some things you worry about. Put them in order from most to least worrying. Decide which ones are worth worrying about. Compare your worries to show that we all have worries.
• Release their worries. Write them down, then tear them up and throw them away. Or put their worries into a jar which must always have the lid on tight!
• Practice mindfulness and meditation. Meditation has been proven to reduce the stress centre of our brains. There are a number of children’s mediation apps (see links below). It takes time and practice to get it right, so provide time and space for them to build their ability to meditate and don’t give up too quickly! Sleep meditations can also be a great way to help children drift off to sleep if they worry at sleep time. You may need to have a discussion with your child to encourage them to try and keep their mind on the meditation, I their thoughts wander off just bring them back to the meditation.

Meditation apps/websites 

Insight Timer (free website and app)

YouTube Channels– New Horizon, Happy Minds

Headspace for Kids (paid app)

Smiling Mind (free app)