FROM THE SCHOOL NURSE

Families - the things that make them happy

Our definition of ‘family’ has changed over the past few decades to include single parent and blended families as well as the traditional family structure of two parents and their children living together. The study of family dynamics has shown that happy families, whatever their makeup, have certain traits in common.

Positive communication

Both young people and their parents benefit from communication that is loving, understanding and patient. Positive communication in families includes –

        Talking honestly

        Listening with full attention

        Reassuring each other of love with words, cuddles and making time.

        Sharing thoughts and feelings without censuring or criticising each other.

        Encouraging positive behaviour with praise.

        Allowing the expression of negative emotions as well as positive ones.

        Working together to solve problems and conflicts.

Quality time together

The pressures of modern living mean that some families tend to operate like a collection of separate individuals, all living their own lives without much interaction as a family. Happy families spend time together, even if this means scheduling ‘appointment’ that suit everyone. 

Suggestions include:

        Making dinner time an opportunity for round table family discussions.

        One-on-one conversations to strengthen individual relationships within the family.

        Regular family outings.

        Deciding as a group on important family “traditions’ such as how to celebrate      birthdays and Christmas.

        Holidays that cater for the whole family.

Working as a team

Young people need to be involved in some of the decision making if they are to feel like they are a worthwhile family member. Happy families tend to work as a team including –

        Sharing household chores

        Taking the needs and wishes of everyone into account.

        Allowing young people their independence within safe parental boundaries.

        House rules that apply to everyone, not just the young.

        Disciplining with love, patience and understanding.

Appreciating each other

Families are made up of individuals with different likes, dislikes, opinions and beliefs. Happy families support and encourage these differences and appreciate each member for who they are, including

        Taking an active interest in each other’s hobbies

        Talking about the events in everyone’s day.

        Supporting each other by attending sports days, concerts and special events.