The Wellbeing Page 

Helping Children to Be Self-Advocates

Self-advocacy is an essential skill that we all need to develop to live happy, healthy lives.

Self-advocacy, or having a voice of your own, is having the skills to find more of what you do want or need, and less of what you don't want. Self-advocacy is fundamental to building confidence and self-esteem.

It is important to emphasise that having a voice of your own does not necessarily mean having a literal voice. People who are non-speaking are able to communicate themselves, their likes and dislikes, their wants and needs, in ways other than words. For example, taking a person by the hand to show them where they want to go, pointing to pictures, symbols or photographs.

It is crucial that children learn how to speak up for themselves, or seek the help they need, rather than relying on someone else to do this for them. In life, they will not always have a parent, caregiver or teacher by their side to tell them what to do or to advocate for them. Children will need to learn the skills to do this themselves in a safe, kind and fair way. 

Self-advocacy in children might look like:

• Putting up their hand to ask for help if they don't understand a concept
• Standing up for themselves in a safe, fair and kind way if they don't like how they have been treated
  • "When you... I felt... next time, please..."
• Approaching another child who is doing something that looks interesting and asking what they are doing
• Moving away from an unwanted situation
• Approaching an adult in the yard and saying 'Please help me'

Self advocacy doesn't have to be spoken. We can use gestures to seek help, connection and to tell someone to stop.

How can we help children be self-advocates?

• Help your child identify the areas of their life in which they are a strong self-advocate
• Help your child identify the areas of their life in which they need to develop more self-advocacy skills by speaking up more or playing a bigger role in decision-making
• Help children learn their rights and responsibilities (self-advocacy isn't just getting whatever you want. It is knowing what you are entitled to, what you need, and what is fair and safe for you to have)
• Build their confidence
  • Give opportunities to be independent e.g. children carrying their own school bag
  • Talk about the positive things that happened when they spoke up, shared how they felt or asked for help
  • Praise and congratulate children for seeking help or giving things a go on their own
  • Help them speak up if they are unable to, and then reflect on the good outcomes of doing that to encourage them to do this next time

To find more of what children like/want/need:

• Build their knowledge of their interests - to find more of what we want or like, we first need to know what we love to do!
• Help your children find more of what they love - ask 'Who else likes to dance in your class? Maybe you can dance at recess!'

To seek help when they need it:

Note that if your child is needing help and is feeling big feelings in that moment, they probably won't be able to listen or engage in conversation there and then. You may need to wait until they have calmed down so that they can reflect on the situation and can think through different options with you. 

• Let children struggle a little bit so they recognise when they need help - don't always immediately jump in to help them
• Help students recognise when they need help
  • How are you feeling? 
  • How long have you been stuck on that one for? 
  • What different methods/ways have you tried? 
• Validate their feelings and model for them
  • You're feeling frustrated? I understand - it's okay to feel frustrated. I feel like that sometimes when I don't understand how to fix an issue with my laptop, or when I find a new movement at the gym really difficult. When I feel those butterflies in my stomach and I start to feel annoyed, I know it's time to take a break or ask for help
• Give children the words to say if they don't have them already 
  • It sounds like you needed a little bit of help today. Next time you are stuck, put your hand up and say to your teacher 'Please help me'
  • Next time you have a conflict in the yard, find a teacher in a yellow vest and say 'Please help me'

To find less of what we don't want:

• Problem-solve together when a time that your child needs help arises 
  • What are your options?
  • What else could you do? - you can have fun with this by thinking up some silly options, too!
  • What would the impact/outcome of that be?
  • What else could happen?
  • What might have been the best option out of the ones we have talked about? Why?