PASTORAL WELLBEING

Emotional wellbeing; what does this mean in the year 2022?  Truth is, who knows but what is clear to educators is that our children are emerging from an uncertain time in history and bringing with them a varied understanding of themselves, their feelings, their strengths and their challenges.  

As adults we can cognitively figure out there is no way to make any experiences or times that we 'were supposed to have' in the last two years come back.  We don't like it all the time, but we acknowledge and we move on with our day to day.  And if we cannot move on, the process of getting help from those around us can be figured out.

For our young people, this is not always the case and not always an easy process.  Many stumble at the starting blocks; identifying their feelings.  Young people deal with the same emotions as adults.  They get sad, angry, frustrated, embarrassed, happy and nervous but they are often missing the words to name what they are feeling.  Instead they may act out, yell and behave "inappropriately".   Think about a time when you can see your child is visibly upset and you ask them how they are feeling.  What did they say? Not much.  How did they react?

Teaching children how to identify their emotions is a life long skill.  It will allow them to process their thoughts and actions.  To communicate effectively without resorting physical reactions.  To show empathy to others and support them.

As parents and educators we can teach our children about emotions both explicitly and implicitly (with preference given to the first).  Talking about feelings is a great starting point. Share both good feelings and bad feelings with your child. For example, point out the positive like “It makes me feel happy when I see you sharing with your sister“. But also explain how inappropriate behaviours make you feel, such as “It makes me feel sad when you say that I’m mean.”

Another way to talk about feeling is to identify them in other people.  You can do this when you are reading or watching TV with your child. It can be as simple as “That person is smiling, they must feel happy”, or “That person looks like he feels very mad, look at his eyebrows.”

There are always instances when your child will not recognise the feeling that they have. An emotion wheel may be useful in these instances.  It is important to note that children need to be able to recognise the emotions that fall within the wheel for it to assist.

At the end of the day, helping children manage their emotions begins by validating those emotions and providing an environment in which they can feel safe to express them.