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Peer Pressure

Peers influence your life, even if you don't realise it, just by spending time with them. We learn from them, and they learn from us. It's only human nature to listen to and learn from other people in our age group.

Peer pressure is a powerful force in a children’s lives and is why you will hear parents say "choose your friends wisely." Some kids give in to peer pressure because they want to be liked, to fit in, or because they worry that other kids might make fun of them if they don't go along with the group. Others go along because they are curious to try something new that others are doing. The idea that "everyone's doing it" can influence some kids to leave their better judgment, or their common sense, behind. On the other hand not all peer pressure is bad for them. 

Almost all children get to an age where they pull away from mum and dad and instead look to their friends for acceptance and approval. When that happens, they can often be pressured into doing things they know is wrong. We’ve all heard horror stories of good kids going bad because they got caught up with the wrong crowd. 

But peer pressure is a two-way street. There’s such a thing as “healthy” peer pressure—where kids encourage each other to take the high road when tempted, and to excel instead of settling for mediocrity. It can really help to have at least one other peer, or friend, who is willing to say "no," too. This takes a lot of the power out of peer pressure and makes it much easier to resist. It's great if your children can have friends with values similar to theirs who will back them up when they don't want to do something. Instead of pulling each other down, good friends are reliable and kind to each other and seek to hold each other accountable. Encourage your children to help a friend who's having trouble resisting peer pressure. It can be powerful for one kid to join another by simply saying, "I'm with you — let's go."And they look for ways to set an example for others.

That’s why it’s so important to steer your kids toward the right kinds of friends because peer pressure could be the best thing that ever happened to your child. If your children continue to face peer pressure and you're finding it difficult to handle, encourage your children to talk to someone they trust. Don't make them feel guilty if they've made a mistake or two, everyone knows mistakes are learning tools.

Your children  may not think it’s cool to talk to their parents, teachers, or school chaplain but they can help them feel much better and prepare them for the next time they face peer pressure. Look for moments where your child feels safe and comfortable to chat with you. What ever you do, don’t over react, because they are probably already feeling super sensitive. Brainstorm with them and help them to feel empowered in making decisions. Write down their options even if they look really silly, consider the outcomes and let them make a choice as to what they could do about the problem. Maintaining an open line of communication is a gift for your children and they will be grateful in the end and so will you.

Have a wonderful term break and get some rest. Break out of the usual routines and soak up some really special family time. See you soon.

Jenny